Okay, so two nights ago, I lost my Internet connection, which kills me since I love nothing better than waking up in the morning and finding out that we're just THIS much closer to Armageddon. So I did what any normal, red-blooded New Yorker would do, after reinstalling OSX -- I called Time Warner to whine and bitch and curse at a complete stranger.
watertiger to support tech #1: y'know, ordinarily, all of the lights on the broadband box are either on or blinking. There's just two on at the moment.
support tech #1: okay, we're going to try to refresh your TP/IP selection.
watertiger: but the lights...
support tech #1: go to the apple menu and select preferences...
watertiger: (sigh) alright. we'll do it your way.
(10 minutes later after failed attempts to get safari or my email to open)
watertiger: nope. I got nuthin. safari loads, but I don't even get a window.
support tech #1: I'm going to have to bump this up to a level 3 tech. I'm going to put you on hold...
(10 minutes later)
support tech #2: thank you for waiting. what is the problem?
watertiger: [explains situation] oh, and I told the guy downstairs that only two of the lights on the broadband box are lit.
support tech #2: okay, we're going to try to refresh your TP/IP selection.
watertiger: we tried that already. and yes, we already unplugged the broadband box and plugged it back in.
support tech #2: what's your IP address?
watertiger: [reads IP address from screen]
support tech #2: hmmm. everything looks clear from this end. It's your computer.
support tech #2: we've scheduled a tech visit.
watertiger: [screeches expletives] When the hell did THAT happen?
support tech #2: The [guy downstairs] did it.
watertiger: For WHEN?
support tech #2: The 28th.
watertiger: WHAT THE FUCK?! I HAVE TO WAIT THAT LONG?
support tech #2: that's the earliest we can get there.
watertiger: Jesus fucking Christ. [sighs in resignation] Fine. Have a nice night. [hangs up]
watertiger cocks her head for a moment and thinks aloud "I wonder what would happen if I pressed this button [that says Internet On/Off]?"
Presses the button.
Broadband box lights up like a Christmas tree, and voila, I get my email back.
Safari, on the other hand, is still fucked like a $5 whore. Gah.