Thursday, June 30, 2005

I never thought I'd be saying this.

GO, BROOKE SHIELDS! In the New York Times, no less.

War of Words

Published: July 1, 2005

I WAS hoping it wouldn't come to this, but after Tom Cruise's interview with Matt Lauer on the NBC show "Today" last week, I feel compelled to speak not just for myself but also for the hundreds of thousands of women who have suffered from postpartum depression. While Mr. Cruise says that Mr. Lauer and I do not "understand the history of psychiatry," I'm going to take a wild guess and say that Mr. Cruise has never suffered from postpartum depression.

rest of editorial here.

Tom Cruise should step away from the crack pipe he's been doggin'.

Blair's spin gets as much traction

as as a ball bearing in an oil slick. Somebody'd better tell him that the whole "9/11 Changed Everything" meme isn't working too good anymore:

Blair 'Astonished' by Coverage of Memos


LONDON - For Prime Minister Tony Blair, the road to Iraq started with 9/11. The British leader said Wednesday in an interview with The Associated Press that the attacks on U.S. soil fundamentally changed "the balance of risk" in the world, sharing President Bush's view that the tragedy had made a robust show of force an urgent priority.

The attacks, he said, made it necessary to "draw a line in the sand here, and the country to do it with was Iraq because they were in breach of U.N. resolutions going back over many years."


"9/11 changed the whole picture for me, it changed the politics of how we dealt with the threat," he said.

He said his actions were based on personal conviction — not in the hope of any quid pro quo on other issues, such as climate control, Africa aid, or the Middle East, as some have suggested.


"It wasn't me! It was that guy who looks like a chimp!"

Russell Boyce/Reuters

How conveeeeeeenient.

Bush Questions Iran Leader-Elect's Past

WASHINGTON - The White House said Thursday it was investigating whether Iran's new president played a role in seizing the American Embassy and holding 52 U.S. captives a quarter century ago. President Bush said the allegation by former hostages "raises many questions."

The administration was reviewing its files on Iranian president-elect Mahmoud Ahmadinejad after the hostage comments were brought to light by The Associated Press.

"I have no information, but obviously his involvement raises many questions," Bush said in an interview with foreign reporters. The administration said it would have to deal with Ahmadinejad, regardless of his past.


It's a shame nobody really investigated OUR "elected" preznit's past:

"But I gave a speech and everything!"

AFP/File/Paul J. Richards

42% of Americans Favor Possible Bush Impeachment

A Zogby poll released today finds 42% of all Americans—including 25% of Republicans—say that "if it is found that President Bush did not tell the truth about his reasons for going to war with Iraq, Congress should hold him accountable through impeachment." According to Zogby, in Eastern and Western states supporters of impeachment outnumber opponents.

Zogby also found that Bush’s speech on Tuesday "produced no noticeable bounce in his approval numbers, with his job approval rating slipping a point from a week ago, to 43%."


Chimpeachment, bitches!

"Stubborn belly fat?

"If you're over 30, overstressed, and dieting, even low-carb dieting, doesn't seem to work, it could be that nasty little hormone, cortisol."

AFP/Brendan Smialowski


"Live long and prosper! Eh heh heh heh."

(long, awkward pause)


(long, awkward pause)

"Hello? Is this thing on?"


REUTERS/Larry Downing

Could this mark the beginning of the end

of the swollen, pus-filled boil of TV programming -- the reality show?

ABC Pulls 'Neighborhood' Reality Series


LOS ANGELES - "Welcome to the Neighborhood," an ABC reality series that pushes hot buttons of racism and anti-homosexuality, was pulled by the network before its debut. The program had drawn criticism from groups claiming it risked fostering prejudice.

In a statement Wednesday, ABC acknowledged the delicate nature of the series in which families asked to pick a new neighbor are made to expose and overcome their biases.

"Welcome to the Neighborhood" demonstrates what happens when people are forced to "confront preconceived notions of what makes a good neighbor," the network said.

"However, the fact that true change only happens over time made the episodic nature of this series challenging, and given the sensitivity of the subject matter in early episodes we have decided not to air the series at this time."

The six-episode show, which was to debut July 10, follows three families in Austin, Texas, who are given the chance to choose a new neighbor for a house on their street.


Johann Lippowitz, in his own mime.

Oh, thank god. You can see his brilliant interpretation of Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn" here.

"Dang. Cain't remember.

Is it legal to shoot a man in the back? I'd better pick up the pace."

AP/Charles Dhaparak

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

A Dependable Renegade theatre review

Just got in from seeing "The Hollow Men," a British sketch comedy troupe that's been described as a cross between Kids in the Hall and Monty Python's Flying Circus. (It's British Comedy Invasion week here in NYC and somehow, I wound up with two free tickets). These lads have been on Comedy Central, and have been on the Fringe and Comedy Festival circuits for four years, but I had managed to miss them somehow.

While most of the sketches were chuckle-funny or "damn, that's sick" funny, one was absolutely inspired. Cast member David Armand plays Johann Lippowitz, Austria's premier interpretive dance artiste. Dressed in an oversized black tee shirt, black pants, and a black skullie, he "interprets" Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn" for the audience. Yes, the whole song.

Two words: It was bloody brilliant!

So for those of you in the NYC area, the boys are at the Village Theatre on Bleecker St. through July 16. That sketch alone is worth the price of admission. (For those of you who aren't, you can see the sketch in video format - it's in .wmv, so I didn't bother checking to see if it still works.)

This was not a paid advertisement. But if the boys would like me to advertise for them, I'm available.

Tony Blair spins like a top.

Blair Denies Memos Prove Iraq Decision


LONDON - British Prime Minister Tony Blair said Wednesday the "Downing Street memos" paint a distorted picture, and he insisted that the Iraq war was not predetermined by the United States.

"People say the decision was already taken. The decision was not already taken," he said in an exclusive interview with The Associated Press.


Rest of the story here.

Tony, Tony, Tony, you're missing the point. 9/11 didn't "change everything." Your waltz with the Chimperor at the U.N. has no bearing on the fact that Chimpy McFlightsuit and his merry band of cocksucking bandits distorted the truth (and outright lied) in order to justify an invasion of Iraq. And you, my friend, are a party to the crime, aiding and abetting the debacle that is Iraq.

"I coulda been a contender.

If only my parents hadn't made me choose between being a concert pianist or an Olympic figure skater..."

AP/Richard Drew

Pretty kitties...

AP Photo, 24/7 Media/AJ Wolfe

Can't be lookin' at the ugliness of King George IV ALL the time, can we?

"You don't like me. You really don't like me."

AP Photo/Chuck Burton

A CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll of Americans who watched President Bush's Iraq speech Tuesday night showed that 46 percent had a "very positive" reaction to what they heard.

The poll was taken immediately after the speech, and the 323 adults interviewed were 50 percent Republican, 23 percent Democratic and 27 percent independent. The margin of error was plus or minus 6 percentage points.

Another 28 percent said they were "somewhat positive" about what they heard, and 26 percent said they had a "negative" reaction.

"It's difficult to tell from these poll results how the speech will affect general U.S. public," said CNN polling director Keating Holland.

"Many Americans did not watch the speech. Those who did were 2-to-1 Republican, so most were arguably already in the president's camp."


heh. you can pull all the somber faces and make all the illogical references to 9/11 and OBL you want, but that doesn't change the fact that the American people don't want our citizens dying in Iraq anymore.

Deal with it, monkeyboy.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

"This speech is tanking!

and all these soldiers are headin' back to Iraq! I knew I shoulda brought the kevlar."

AFP/Tim Sloan

"My poll numbers are dropping lower than my momma's titties!"

AP Photo/Chuck Burton

I elected NOT to watch the speechifying

this evening, opting instead to have a lovely time away from the television, so I can't comment first-hand on the Chimperor's broken record act. But I did find this oh-so-pleasing to read:

FBI Whistle-Blower to Run for Congress

WASHINGTON - Former FBI whistle-blower Coleen Rowley will run for Congress as a Democrat in Minnesota's 2nd Congressional District, where she hopes to knock off GOP Rep. John Kline.

"I'm concerned about the direction of the country," Rowley said in a telephone interview Tuesday. "We have done things that have made us less safe, among them the Iraq invasion and the loss of our allies and the moral high ground in international affairs."

Rowley, 50, was named one of Time magazine's Persons of the Year for 2002 after writing a critical memo on FBI intelligence failures.

She had sought a seat this year on the new Privacy and Civil Liberties Oversight Board, designed to ensure that government actions in the war on terror do not infringe on people's rights. But when President Bush appointed members of the board earlier this month, Rowley's name was not on the list. She said that was a factor in deciding to run for Congress.


Go get 'em, tiger! We need more people who actually HAVE consciences in Congress.

"I don't wanna go to Fort Bragg anymore."

Reuters/Jason Reed

Man, talk about body language.



AFP/File/Menahem Kahana



Just sayin....

"Quick! Someone call the Pilates Police!"

"Hump? What hump?"

AP/White House, Eric Draper

I'm glad to see that sometimes, international

outrage has some effect:

Re-Arrests Ordered in Pakistan Rape Case


ISLAMABAD, Pakistan - Pakistan's Supreme Court overturned the acquittals of 13 suspects and ordered them re-arrested in connection with the gang rape of a village woman whose case drew international attention, court officials and a lawyer in the case said.

The ruling came a day after the victim, Mukhtar Mai, appealed the lower court ruling in a dramatic appearance at the Supreme Court. The case has drawn headlines worldwide, highlighting the appalling treatment of women in some parts of this deeply conservative country.


Veterans' Benefits

How the Republican Party can claim it supports the troops is beyond me, when they are so busy CUTTING those benefits. From Representative Louise Slaughter (D-NY):

"As some of you may know I serve as the Ranking Democrat on the House Rules Committee... well tonight Republicans on the committee (Chairman Dreier & Reps. Hastings of Washington, Capito, Cole, Bishop and Gingrey) voted against taking care of a serious budget shortfall that the Bush Administration recently announced has opened up in our country's veterans' health care system.

For those you that don't know, last week, the Bush Administration acknowledged that the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) needs another one billion dollars this year to cover the health care needs of our country's veterans, including approximately 86,000 new Iraq and Afghanistan vets.

All major veterans' groups, including the American Legion, the Paralyzed Veterans of America, and the Disabled American Veterans, condemned this billion-dollar shortfall and predicted it could seriously harm the quality and availability of veterans' health care.

In response to this announcement, Texas Congressman Chet Edwards, the top Democratic Member on the House Subcommittee on Military Quality of Life and Veterans Affairs, offered an amendment to immediately address this shortfall, so no veteran would lose access to her or his needed health care. Invoking a special wartime budget wartime authority, Edwards proposed adding the money to H.R. 3057, the Foreign Operations Appropriations bill that we will be passing later this week.

Unfortunately, my Republican colleagues (Chairman Dreier & Reps. Hastings of Washington, Capito, Cole, Bishop, Gingrey) on the Rules Committee opposed giving Congressman Edwards the procedural waiver his amendment needed so that it could be debated and quickly passed. The Republicans I just mentioned voted along party lines to block the Edwards Amendment and effectively killed his attempt to immediately address the terrible budget shortfall the VA is facing.

I'm sure you'll agree with me that standing up for our veterans is not a Democratic or a Republican issue. It's about keeping the solemn promise we make to the men and women who go to war to defend our freedoms. We promise them we'll take care of them if they come home injured in their minds or bodies. It is unconscionable to me that we would go back on this promise while our country is at war."

For more information, see Representative Slaughter's diary at Daily Kos.

Bush's Prime Time Speech

will most probably not be covered by ALL of the major networks (snort).

"This is a time of testing," McClellan said. "It is a critical moment in Iraq. The terrorists are seeking to shake our will and weaken our resolve. They know that they cannot win unless we abandon the mission before it is complete."

Can you blame the networks for NOT wanting to air a rerun?

Larry Downing/Reuters

Monday, June 27, 2005

"Straight up, now tell me. Are you going

to ooze pus forever? Oh oh oh, or are you just having fun...gus?"

Abdul Urges Tough Nail Salon Standards


SAN FRANCISCO - Singer Paula Abdul's testimony Monday about a flesh-eating fungus that landed her in the emergency room gave a state Senate committee a new perspective on legislation aimed at getting nail salons to clean up their act.

Abdul, who is also a judge on "American Idol," said a trip in April 2004 to a Studio City nail shop that used unclean manicure equipment became a yearlong ordeal that sent her in and out of the hospital, and made her the butt of late-night talk show jokes.

"What I saw fly out of my thumb was a green and yellow thick substance that smelt foul, and then blood, blood, blood," Abdul told the California Senate Business and Professions Committee in Sacramento. "Being a professional dancer, I'm no stranger to pain, but this time the pain was so excruciating that even my hair touching my thumb caused me to scream."


I think that is just a wee bit more information about Paula Abdul than I needed to know.

"When I start the hormone treatments,

my breasts will be out to here!"

AP/Charles Dhaparak

P.S. Does anyone recall that study showing that most psycho/sociopaths have fourth fingers that are as long as the third fingers? Just sayin'....

"Arnie! Babe! Listen to your agent!

Ease up on the botox, okay? You're startin' to look like Thulsa Doom, man."

AP/Rich Pendroncelli

"Come on, Neo!

You're faster than that! HIT ME!"

AP/Kevin Wolf

"Speedo" Gonzales practices

his Napoleon Bonaparte act:

AP Photo/Garry L. Jones

Hey, Bertie, here's a hint. The hand goes inside the jacket.

As if the secret planning for the Iraqi war

weren't grounds enough, we were actually at war before we went to war. Can somebody impeach these people, please?

General admits to secret air war
Michael Smith

THE American general who commanded allied air forces during the Iraq war appears to have admitted in a briefing to American and British officers that coalition aircraft waged a secret air war against Iraq from the middle of 2002, nine months before the invasion began.
Addressing a briefing on lessons learnt from the Iraq war Lieutenant-General Michael Moseley said that in 2002 and early 2003 allied aircraft flew 21,736 sorties, dropping more than 600 bombs on 391 “carefully selected targets” before the war officially started.

rest of London Times story here.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

"You got a moustache just like

Bolton's. I'd like to ride it. Wanna go work at the U.N.?"

AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

Talk is cheap,

but sometimes showing your fangs works.

AFP/Roslan Rahman

Kitty! MUCH at one sitting?

Dark chocolate seen healthy for arteries

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Eating dark chocolate may have a protective effect on the cardiovascular system in healthy people, the results of a new study suggest.

"Epidemiological studies suggest that high flavonoid intake confers a benefit on cardiovascular outcome," Dr. Charalambos Vlachopoulos, of Athens Medical School in Greece, and colleagues write in the American Journal of Hypertension.


Saturday, June 25, 2005

"My Soshasecurtee privatization tour

is really just a chance for me to jerk off in public!"

AP Photo/Charles Dharapak

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,

regardless of her age, it would seem.

78-Year-Old Accused Of Killing Ex-Flame
By Greg Bluestein

ATLANTA, June 24 -- Furious that their romance was ending, a 78-year-old great-grandmother shot her 85-year-old ex-beau to death as he read a newspaper in a senior citizens home, police said.

"I did it, and I'd do it again!" Lena Driskell yelled to officers who arrived at the home June 10, according to testimony. Police said she was wearing a bathrobe and slippers and waving an antique handgun with her finger still on the trigger.

She is accused of plotting the shooting of Herman Winslow because she was angry that their year-long romance was ending and that he had found another companion.


Damn, girlfriend. All you had to do was steal his Viagra.


No more cover-up of nudes at Justice Dept.

By Deborah Charles

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The cover-up is over at the U.S. Justice Department.

After more than three years of being blocked by large blue drapes, two Art Deco aluminum statues of semi-nude figures in the building's Great Hall can be seen again.

The "Spirit of Justice" and the "Majesty of Justice," which loom over the stage in the Great Hall, were blocked from view by curtains installed by the department in January 2002, when former Attorney General John Ashcroft was in office.

The curtains were quietly removed on Friday after a decision by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, Justice Department spokesman Kevin Madden said.


"I cupped them gently..."

What a behemoth of a weenie prude Ashcroft was. And I bet he was a virgin when he got married.

"Damn, I hope Karl's got a way out of this for me."

AFP/Paul J. Richards

As noted over at Eschaton:
June 23, 2005--Forty-nine percent (49%) of Americans say that President Bush is more responsible for starting the War with Iraq than Saddam Hussein. A Rasmussen Reports survey found that 44% take the opposite view and believe Hussein shoulders most of the responsibility.

In late 2002, months before the fighting began, most Americans thought that Hussein was the one provoking the War. Just one-in-four thought the President was doing the provoking at that time.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Friday Little Big Kitty Blogging

REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst





There are five of 'em, too! New bebes at the Washington Zoo.

Rather than to succumb to the demands by the

Senated Armed Services committee for answers on Iraq, Donald Rumsfeld took his own life by driving his depleted uranium-tipped index finger into his cranium.

Larry Downing/Reuters

What with all the parallels between Viet Nam

and Iraq, people began to note that Bush was physically transforming into Richard Nixon:

Reuters/Jim Bourg

"Hump? What hump?"

In an effort to drown out the growing drumbeat of

dissent over the Iraq quagmire, Bush invests in "earplugs."

AP/Charles Dhaparak

Does that LOOK like the face of "compassionate conservatism" to you? Looks like an evil and angry fuck to me.

The many faces of a stupendous failure.

Reuters/Jason Reed

Karl Rove is set upon by a pack of angry Liberals.

and finds that he is too physically and mentally ugly to escape:

AFP/File/Brendan Smialowski

Karl Rove, Lying Sociopath

Coming hard on the heels of his purposely incendiary comments about liberals and their apparent love for terrorists, Karl Rove appeared on Hardball to expand on his malicious smear campaign. This time, he impugned liberals for believing -- can you imagine? -- that the Downing Street Memos were actually TRUE! And once again, he tried to make a causal link between 9/11 and Iraq. A snippet:

GREGORY: But if you're talking about the number of troops necessary, the level of American casualties, the force and intensity of the insurgency…did the president mislead the American people about the cost of the war or was he just simply surprised by what happened?

ROVE: I would go back to the president’s statements over the last several years and I would defy you to find one speech which he talked about Iraq where he doesn’t say there would be difficult times ahead, that we had a long road to hope that a great deal of sacrifice was going to be called for by both the American people and by the Iraqis to achieve this goal. Look, we do not underestimate the ferocity and the anger and the viciousness of the people that we face. We are in a war. Some people may treat it as a law enforcement matter and be worried about indictments from the U.S. attorney from the southern district of New York. But we recognize this administration and the American people we are in a war and the only way you have a successful outcome in the war is to aim for a complete and total victory, which is exactly what we’re doing.

Reuters/Yuri Gripas

The man is more than a menace to our society. The Bushistas are spinning hard to divert attention away from the quagmire that is Iraq, the failure that is our economy, and the flaccidity that is Bush's agenda. How far they think they will go is anyone's guess, but I reckon that Rove is not beyond high treason to protect himself and Bush.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

It's ALMOST as cute as

that "Sumo Kitten" video:

AP Photo/ 24/7 Media, Suzanne Mapes

Karl Rove, Scumbag Opportunist

Well, as we all know by now, Karl Rove has shown the world just how amoral and soulless a foul beast he truly is. For those who might have missed it:

"Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war; liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers," Mr. Rove, the senior political adviser to President Bush, said at a fund-raiser in Midtown for the Conservative Party of New York State.

Citing calls by progressive groups to respond carefully to the attacks, Mr. Rove said to the applause of several hundred audience members, "I don't know about you, but moderation and restraint is not what I felt when I watched the twin towers crumble to the ground, a side of the Pentagon destroyed, and almost 3,000 of our fellow citizens perish in flames and rubble."


Mr. Rove also said American armed forces overseas were in more jeopardy as a result of remarks last week by Senator Richard J. Durbin, Democrat of Illinois, who compared American mistreatment of detainees to the acts of "Nazis, Soviets in their gulags, or some mad regime - Pol Pot or others."

"Has there ever been a more revealing moment this year?" Mr. Rove asked. "Let me just put this in fairly simple terms: Al Jazeera now broadcasts the words of Senator Durbin to the Mideast, certainly putting our troops in greater danger. No more needs to be said about the motives of liberals."


Let's clear something up. Our soldiers are in harm's way because PRESIDENT BUSH PUT THEM THERE. There was NEVER any connection between 9/11 and Iraq. To slander one-half of America as a means of distracting the other half from Bush's failing presidency constitutes an act so vile, so base that it's worthy of Rasputin. And the fact that he made the statement while attending a conference in NYC only enhances the quality of the evil that he has mastered.

Oh, and the White House refused to ask Rove to apologize; ergo, Bush condones this hypocrisy. After all, they are physically incapable of showing any weakness. An apology would be tantamount to surrender!!!

AFP/File/Stephen Jaffe

And while we liberal New Yorkers watched as the second plane hit the Towers and raced around after their collapse, trying to help in whatever ways we could, what did "brave and fearless" President Bush do? He shat his fucking pants, that's what.

So it really did happen!

Dubya WAS baptized:

AP/Alessandra Tarantino

Rumsfeld is right.

Iraq isn't a "quagmire." It's a "morass."

Rumsfeld rejects notion Iraq war is a 'quagmire'

WASHINGTON - Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld on Thursday rejected a senator's assertion the Iraq war had become a quagmire, but warned Iraq's government not to delay political developments such as drafting a constitution. During a tense Senate Armed Services Committee hearing, Army Gen. John Abizaid, who as head of Central Command is the top U.S. commander in the Middle East, declined to endorse Vice President Dick Cheney's assessment that Iraq's insurgency was in its "last throes."

I love twisted people.

I am so jealous that I didn't think of these:

Absurdist greeting cards.

You guys get two hearty claws up from watertiger!!!

(and for the local NYC folks: saw the cards for sale at the Mailboxes, Etc. store on 23rd and Park Ave So. Check 'em out - they're hysterical!)

Reason #6,578 why I'm glad I live in NY

Bill for Morning-After-Pill Passed in N.Y.

ALBANY, N.Y. - State senators approved legislation that allows girls and women to more easily obtain a morning-after pill from pharmacists, midwives and nurses, despite opposition from lawmakers who likened the emergency contraception to abortion. The measure — which passed Wednesday 34-27 — would allow girls and women to obtain the medication without a physician's visit or prescription and without parental consent regardless of the patient's age.


Thank you, Albany.

Bush and Randy Quaid reenact the opening number

of the Bugs Bunny Show.

"Overture, curtains, lights,
This is it, the night of nights
No more rehearsing and nursing a part
We know every part by heart
Overture, curtains, lights
This is it, you'll hit the heights
And oh what heights we'll hit
On with the show this is it!"

Reuters/Larry Downing

Well, nobody said that the stupid gene was

missing in this family:

Florida Gov. Jeb Bush officially joined his brother in opposing human embryonic stem-cell research at the annual Biotechnology Industry Organization meeting here Tuesday.

However, Bush said he believes technology will provide a solution to the impasse over embryonic stem-cell research.

"I think taking of human life to create life is a huge contradiction morally," Bush said. "But ... there are other really bright people in this issue who share that view who are trying to find an alternative that would not retard the advancement of science."

He was referring to William Hurlbut's proposal to join an egg with genetically altered material, a process he calls "altered nuclear transfer." Nuclear transfer is another name for therapeutic cloning, a controversial technology researchers want to use to derive custom-made embryonic stem cells.


So stem cells bad, cloning good?

full story here.

"Think of it as mucking out the Augean Stables..."

So the Dems are going to try to grill Donald "Deadly Talons of Killer Mime" Rumsfeld about the future of our troops in Iraq:


"the Pentagon says Iraqi security forces who have received some training and equipment now number 168,500, including police and military personnel."


does that include all the ones who've died because we were too busy guarding the oil fields instead of the munitions dumps? I guess you train the Iraqis you have, not the ones you've indirectly killed.

Chris Kleponis/Reuters

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Giant Popsicle Redux

Ah. Footage of the fruitflow...


it's a strawberry rhubarb.

cuz it's summer.

and cuz I can.

Bush tries to pay attention, but secretly wonders

whether he gets to keep the hat with his name on it:

Jason Reed/Reuters

Preznit Bush practices for the only job

he's really qualified for: Wal*Mart Greeter...

Reuters/Larry Downing

... or an extra in the Crawford Regional Theatre production of "Zorba the Greek".

AP/Ron Edmonds

At least it wasn't the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man...

Giant Popsicle Melts, Floods New York Park

NEW YORK - An attempt to erect the world's largest Popsicle in a city square ended with a scene straight out of a disaster film — but much stickier.

The 25-foot-tall, 17 1/2-ton treat of frozen Snapple juice melted faster than expected Tuesday, flooding Union Square in downtown Manhattan with kiwi-strawberry-flavored fluid that sent pedestrians scurrying for higher ground.

Firefighters closed off several streets and used hoses to wash away the sugary goo.

Snapple had been trying to promote a new line of frozen treats by setting a record for the world's largest Popsicle, but called off the stunt before it was pulled fully upright by a construction crane. Authorities said they were worried the thing would collapse in the 80-degree, first-day-of-summer heat.

"What was unsettling was that the fluid just kept coming," Stuart Claxton of the Guinness Book of World Records told the Daily News. "It was quite a lot of fluid. On a hot day like this, you have to move fast."

Snapple official Lauren Radcliffe said the company was unlikely to make a second attempt to break the record, set by a 21-foot pop in Holland in 1997.

The giant pop was supposed to have been able to withstand the heat for some time, and organizers weren't sure why it didn't. It had been made in Edison, N.J., and hauled to New York by freezer truck in the morning.

God, I'm hoping there are pictures.

Senator Bill Frist explains that he will be

taking time off from his work to have the Santorum on his back removed.

AP Photo/Ron Edmonds

Bonus shot:

Kay, are those . . . patent leather shoes? Y'all just keep those legs pressed together like a good little girl.

AP Photo/Ron Edmonds

"Hold up. You'"

"Weeeeellll, when it's convenient."

REUTERS/Thierry Roge

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Yet more proof that Katie Holmes is nothing more

than a somewhat animated rag doll:

AP Photo/Bernat Armangue

Whoa, easy there, big fella. You're gonna tear her arm out of her socket, and then you'll have to return her to Reality.

AP Photo/Bernat Armangue