Wednesday, August 31, 2005

"Yeah, it's bad an' all down there,

but ah'm not givin' back the gee-tar."

AP/Susan Walsh

"We fucked up, didn't we."

"What's with this 'we'?"

REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

"Hey, Karl!

Ah can see mah house from here!"

AFP/Jim Watson

(notice the clenched fist. Very "determined and resolute," n'est-ce pas?)

Professor Bunsen Honeydew

explains why the government won't cap gas prices in the coming weeks.

AP/Ron Edmonds

"It's a question of profits, you see!"

Infuriated by having to cut his vacation two days short

by that stoopid Hurricane Katrina, Bush, clutching his security blanket, sullenly boarded Air Force One to D.C.

REUTERS/Mannie Garcia

Five Feet High and Rising

AP/ABC/Martha Raddatz

How high's the water, mama?
'Two feet high and rising'
How high's the water, papa?
'She said it's two feet high and rising
But we can make it to the road in a homemade boat
'Cause that's the only thing we got left that'll float
It's already over all the wheat and oats'
Two feet high and rising

REUTERS/Rick Wilking

How high's the water, mama?
'Three feet high and rising'
How high's the water, papa?
'She said it's three feet high and rising
Well, the hives are gone, I lost my bees
Chickens are sleepin' in the willow trees
Cows in water up past their knees'
Three feet high and rising

REUTERS/Mark Wallheiser

How high's the water, mama?
'Four feet high and rising'
How high's the water, papa?
'She said it's four feet high and rising
Hey, come look through the window pane
The bus is coming, gonna take us to the train
Looks like we'll be blessed with a little more rain'
Four feet high and rising

AP/Ben Sklar

How high's the water, Mama?
'Five feet high and rising'
How high's the water, Papa?
'She said it's five feet high and rising
Well, the rails are washed out north of town
We gotta head for higher ground
We can't come back till the water goes down'
Five feet high and rising
Well, it's five feet high and rising

AFP/Getty Images/Dave Einsel

REUTERS/Jason Reed

©House Of Cash

Special thanks to Deep Toej for the idea.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

So while the Gulf Coast drowned,

Nero strummed his gee-tar.

AP/ABC News, Martha Raddatz

President Bush plays a guitar presented to him by Country Singer Mark Wills, right, backstage following his visit to Naval Base Coronado, Tuesday, Aug. 30, 2005. Bush visited the base to deliver remarks on V-J Commemoration Day.


Thanks to dave™ & Americablog for spotting this shot.

also, must EVERYTHING he owns have the Preznitial seal on it?

What to do when faced with a natural disaster that will

displace over a million people: liken the Iraq clusterfuck to WWII.

REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell


So, are those decisions crisp yet?

Because spending ANOTHER day avoiding the monumental problem that is the Gulf Coast isn't exactly . . . wise.

REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell

AFP/Nicholas Kamm

REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell

AP/Mari Darr-Welch

AFP/Jim Watson

REUTERS/Rick Wilking

"I'm cutting my month-long vacation short by TWO days!"

AFP/Jim Watson

Bush Returning to Monitor Hurricane Effort


CORONADO, Calif. - President Bush will cut short his vacation to return to Washington on Wednesday, two days earlier than planned, to help monitor federal efforts to assist victims of Hurricane Katrina, the White House said Tuesday.

"We have got a lot of work to do," Bush said, referring to the damage wrought by the hurricane along Gulf Coast areas.

The president had been scheduled to return to the nation's capital on Friday, after spending more than four weeks operating from his ranch in Central Texas. But after receiving a briefing early Tuesday on the devastation Katrina unleashed, the president decided that he needed to be in Washington to personally oversee the federal effort, White House spokesman Scott McClellan said.


(watertiger clears throat, cracks knuckles)

Mighty white of ya, Lt. McFlightsuit. YOU GODDAMNED WASTE OF PROTOPLASM! Where the FUCK were you when this storm was building up a head of steam over the Gulf? NOW you decide to return to D.C., ex post facto? What's the matter - nobody at El Mirage or Rancho Cucamonga was kvelling over your Medicare Reform bullshit spiel? You were getting tired of dodging Cindy Sheehan?

Or maybe you finally took a look at your sub-basement poll numbers?

Gah. What a fucking two-bit coward.

P.S. One more thing: I thought he wasn't ON vacation. I thought he was simply working out of his "ranch" for the month of August.

"'Bush the Pusillanimous'."

"Ah'm not entirely sure what it means, but Ah like the sound of it."

REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell

I hope Bush enjoyed his little tour of the Southwest

during Hurricane Katrina yesterday. Because while he was touting his irrelevant Medicare reform to skeptical seniors,

REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell

other people went boating

AP/John Bazemore

and swimming.

AP/Mari Darr~Welch

Monday, August 29, 2005

I guess the barometric pressure wasn't the only thing dropping today.

I guess when ya gotta go...

Lillian Gish wonders who invited Dubya

to a taping of "Inside the Actor's Studio"...

REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell

...and can't believe he thinks "The Method" is a form of birth control.

Whoops, there goes another Freudian slip.

Bush shows how much he REALLY cares about Medicare by playing that tiny violin:

AP/Susan Walsh

"Yes, but that's not my dog!"

(uncomfortable silence.)

"I don't get it."

REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell

"I like to eat paste."

REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell

Bush wowed the crowd of seniors with his

"bellying up to the bar" pantomime.

REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell

"It's okay, son. I'll find your mom for you."

REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell

"George, can you wait til I put it down?"

REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell

"And get your fingers out of the icing!"

"Christ, I was only joking!"

Venezuela to seek legal action against Robertson

CARACAS, Venezuela, Aug 28 (Reuters) - Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez said on Sunday his government would take legal action against Pat Robertson and potentially seek his extradition after the U.S. evangelist called for Washington to assassinate the South American leader.


He said Venezuela could seek Robertson's extradition under international treaties and take its claim to the United Nations if the Bush administration did not act.


I'm beginning to wonder whether the crook of the pinky

is somehow directly related to stress levels:

REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell

(via videoconference call) "No, Mr. President.

Hurricane Katrina shouldn't interfere with your golf game today."

AFP/White House/Paul Morse

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Someone forgot to turn off the autopilot.

REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell

Citing the spate of recent insurgent attacks killing civilians, Bush predicted, "We can expect such atrocities to increase in the coming months because the enemy knows that its greatest defeat lies in the expression of free people in freely enacted laws and at the ballot box."

May all of the inhabitants

along the coast of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama be as safe as possible.

Here are some donation sites:

Red Cross

Noah's Wish (for pets abandoned because of natural disasters)

May the Gulf Coast be spared the horrors that are forecast.

Tell me again that writing on the flag is "respectful"?

I mean, if you're going to deify a piece of fabric, isn't this kind of . . . oh, I don't know . . . hypocritical?

AFP/Jim Watson

REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell

I really would like to see the language of that flag desecration bill again. Y'know, to clarify.

Well, so much for "I'm goin' to Disneyworld!"

BAGHDAD, Iraq - Five of the top Sunni Arabs in Iraq's government spoke out Saturday against the draft constitution, delivering a major blow to last-minute efforts to craft a document that can win the backing of all ethnic and political groups.


REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell

"We've got a really good shew."

Not that he's even qualified to be a game show host.

AP/Elaine Thompson

Saturday, August 27, 2005

A man, a plan, a canal - Panama!

I have no idea why I said that.

But I do know that posting will be light, as I am off to abuse the kindness of NYMary and Thersites upstate. So I leave you with this, until tonight, when I wrestle one of the laptops away from my hosts:

"Hey Bush! 40% approval rating, bitch!"

AP/Markus Schreiber

Friday, August 26, 2005

And then Dianne Feinstein

quietly tripped the automatic testicular clamp under the dais...

AP/Reed Saxon

ahhh...dick jokes.

"I dub thee Sir Loin of Beef, Sir Duke of Earl,

Sir Ossis of Liver..."*

RETUERS/Larry Downing

It's a SLAM DUNK! . . . or not.

* My apologies to Chuck Jones.

Little Big Kittyblogging

REUTERS/Fabrizio Bensch

A little fluffy eye candy. It's draining to look at Chimpy McFlightsuit all the time.

UPDATE: here. Some more.

AP/The Zoological Society of San Diego, Ken Bohn

"Man, why you gotta harsh my mellow?"

Nearly three weeks after a grieving California mother named Cindy Sheehan started her anti-war protest near President Bush's Texas ranch, nine of 10 people surveyed in an AP-Ipsos poll say it's OK for war opponents to publicly share their concerns about the conflict.