Monday, November 21, 2005

Ten Movies I Hate?

Atrios links to fellow blogger Amy H.'s "Hated It!" movie list. Made me think about movies that prompted a visceral, "GOD, this is CRAP!" reaction, not just a "Oh, lord, another movie with Patrick Swayze in it" response. Because really, "Roadhouse" is pretty funny if you're drunk, stoned, or just really, really, bored.

In no particular order, sometimes with explanation, sometimes not. You might sense a theme:

1. The Piano. I despised this film. So a woman proves her "independence" by selling herself for piano lessons? Um...okay. That's progressive.

2. Pretty Woman. Ah, Cinderella's a whore, rescued by a prince who uses hookers. That's nice. (Oh, and I hate "Cinderella," too.)

3. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I would have pushed Kate Capshaw's character from the plane before I saved myself.

4. Any movie with Jar Jar Binks in it.

5. Titanic. I don't think I need to explain this, although it WAS pretty satisfying watching the ship go down.

6. Parenthood. I'm probably the only person who saw this movie as pro-life propaganda. Please, Mr. Martin, you don't need to worry about paying the rent. Why hast thou forsaken us?

7. Forrest Gump. I will immediately dislike any movie that spawns chain restaurants. I'm weird that way. Life is like a box of franchised chocolates.

8. Mrs. Doubtfire. Again, working mothers bad, stay at home mothers good. Riiiiiiiiight.

9. Any movie with Tom Cruise in it.

10. Fatal Attraction. Ah, the ol' Madonna/whore = wife/mistress dichotomy. I'd rather boil a rabbit than sleep with Michael Douglas. Feh.