Saturday, April 30, 2005

Bar Bush lives up to the family name,

by reading "Little Beaver and the Echo" to kids who don't get the joke.




(AP Photo/Robert F. Bukaty)

"Heh, fer such a small dog,

she takes monster dumps! I gotta shovel 'em. Laura won't do it."

More little big kitty blogging

A tigron, as opposed to a liger...


(AFP/Miguel Riopa)

Baby tigron : A four-day-old tigron cub, Samil, rests on the arm of its keeper at the Italian Circus in Vigo, northwestern Spain. Samil is a cross between a female tiger and a lion.

Friday, April 29, 2005

And then he sold the rights

to the logging industry:

Bush Marks Arbor Day by Planting Tree

WASHINGTON - The young American chestnut was already sitting in its hole in the ground and a fresh pile of dirt was waiting nearby when the president — wearing a business suit — strode out to throw on three shovelfuls and pronounce his Arbor Day commemoration complete.

"We don't want to get carried away," laughed President Bush.

Despite the brevity of what the White House called a "ceremonial planting" on Friday, the presidential event was aimed at aiding a long effort to bring back the American chestnut. Once a dominant presence in the eastern United States, the graceful trees were virtually wiped out by blight starting at the turn of the 20th century. Now, after years of breeding, cloning and crossbreeding with other species, the Agriculture Department is ready to reintroduce disease-resistant chestnuts to eastern forests next year.

So the White House picked an American chestnut for Bush to plant on the mansion's grounds to mark National Arbor Day.

"This is our little part to help it come back," Bush told reporters. "Our message is to our fellow citizens: plant trees — it's good for the economy and it's good for the environment."

(snip)

Trees aren't as good for the economy as, say, asbestos reform.

Well, at least he's going down in a sea of klieg lights.

Schwarzenegger Praises Border Volunteers

SACRAMENTO, Calif. - Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who outraged some Mexican-American groups last week by calling for a closed border, praised the civilian volunteer Minuteman Project for its patrols to spot illegal immigrants.

"Look, they've cut down the crossing of illegal immigrants by a huge percentage," Schwarzenegger told KFI-AM's "The John & Ken Show" on Thursday.

The Republican governor accused the federal government of failing to control the border and said it encouraged illicit crossers by giving them access to water.

"The whole system is set up to really invite people to come in here illegally, and that has to stop," he said.

The Minuteman Project involves hundreds of volunteers, some armed, who have been patrolling the Mexico-Arizona border since April 1 to document and report illegal crossings.

Chris Simcox, a Minuteman organizer, welcomed Schwarzenegger's support. "It's gratifying to see that elected officials are responding to the will of the people," he said.

There are plans to expand the patrols to California in June, a move Schwarzenegger "does not oppose," said Margita Thompson, his press secretary.

President Bush has denounced the volunteers as vigilantes.

Nativo V. Lopez, president of the Mexican-American Political Association, called Schwarzenegger's comments Thursday "nothing short of base racism."

(snip)

"Fuck me. How do I pronounce

pe...penin...PENINSHULA!"

Well, take a look at him!

Of course he heralds the end of the freakin' world!



Doomsayers Say Benedict Fits World End Prophecy

By Phil Stewart Thu Apr 28, 9:17 AM ET

ROME (Reuters) - Pope Benedict's ascent to the papacy took a conclave of 115 cardinals, four rounds of voting and followed a lifetime of service to the Vatican.

But ask Internet doomsayers eyeing a 12th century Catholic prophecy and they'll tell you it was all stitched up more than eight centuries ago and that judgment day is nigh.

The prophecy -- widely dismissed by scholars as a hoax -- is attributed to St. Malachy, an Irish archbishop recognized by members of the Church for his ability to read the future.

Benedict, believers say, fits the description of the second-to-last pope listed under the prophecy before the Last Judgement, when the bible says God separates the wicked from the righteous at the end of time.

"The Old Testament states: 'believe his prophets and you will prosper' -- so believe it. We are close to the return of the Judge of the nations. Christ is coming," wrote one Internet post by the Rev. Pat Reynolds.

(snip)

St. Malachy was said to have had a vision during a trip to Rome around 1139 of the remaining 112 Popes. The new pope would be number 111 on that list, and is described in a text attributed to St. Malachy as the "Glory of the Olive."

To connect Benedict, a pale, bookish German, to anything olive takes some imagination. But Malachy-watchers point to the choice of the name Benedict -- an allusion to the Order of Saint Benedict, a branch of which is known as the Olivetans.

for more of this nonsense, click here

"Ah'm not a lawyer! Ah'm not an economist!

Ah can't even pronounce 'peninsula'! So stop askin' me the hard kweschuns!"

Is that what they're calling rabies these days?

Zell Miller taken to hospital
Report: Former Georgia senator has flu-like symptoms


(CNN) -- Former Sen. Zell Miller of Georgia was taken to a hospital late Thursday, a nurse at the facility outside Atlanta said.

Miller, 73, arrived via ambulance at Northeast Georgia Medical Center in Gainesville about 8:45 p.m., nurse Dan Hurst told CNN in a phone interview. He said he could not give details about what caused the hospitalization.

Hurst said the former senator and state governor could talk and respond.

The Associated Press reported that Miller was suffering from flu-like symptoms.

Miller was the keynote speaker at an event for the Gainesville Care Center, a pregnancy resource center. Witnesses said Miller felt faint, and medical services were summoned.

Fire and emergency service officials refused to comment.

(snip)

thanks to Big Daddy Mars for the heads-up.

"Noooooooo-

kyular weapons. Kim Jong Il's a dangerous man. He just sent a cloud to kill me the other day."

President Bush tries desperately

not to blurt out during last night's waste of air time that he doesn't really care how his Social Security plan affects the middle class and the poor, because he's rich...



although not as rich as Dick Cheney..... Ha ha! [/Nelson Muntz]

Thursday, April 28, 2005

"Ah appreciate that question."

"Now watch as I talk and talk and talk, and nothin' veracious comes outta it."

Laura Bush watches the Dow drop

6.61% YTD during her husband's reign:



Luckily, the Xanax takes the edge off.

Ooh! Mom and Little Big Kitty Blogging!

I can't wait until tomorrow. This is too cute:



Apparently, little Maya, the cub, will remain spotted, even though her mom is all black.

"I AM Queen of Mexico!"

"Thank you, Consuela. Now please make sure the floor is clean enough for Mrs. Beazly."

President Bush discovers

that he is not as important as he thought, since Crown Prince Abdullah only made him "seventh wife."

"Heh, wanna see my Isthmus?"



(Dude with shocked expression is Panamanian President Torrijos)

Well, that's mighty white of you...

Thanks. The suspense was just about killing me. So, any wagers on the number of times he says "nukyular"?

Bush to Announce Social Security Plans

By JENNIFER LOVEN, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON - President Bush is ready to begin talking with Congress and the public about specific steps he supports to ensure the future of Social Security and will announce his ideas during a prime-time news conference Thursday.

Bush was also using the formal question-and-answer session with reporters — his first in the evening in over a year — to talk about skyrocketing gas prices. The White House asked television networks to broadcast the news conference, scheduled for 8:30 p.m. EDT in the East Room of the White House.

The focus of the president's planned 10- to 12-minute opening statement was to be Social Security, White House press secretary Scott McClellan said.

A prime-time audience for what amounts to a speech at the top of the session allows Bush to seek to move the focus of public attention away from the alleged ethical improprieties of a key White House ally in Congress, House Majority Tom DeLay, R-Texas, and the troubled nomination of Bush's choice to be the next U.N. ambassador, John Bolton. Both controversies have dominated talk in the nation's capital in recent weeks.

(snip)



"I understand THIS much of what is in my 'Social Security Plan'."

What. The. Fuck.

Ladies and germs, our first official Handmaid:

Fla. Agency Gets Teen's Abortion Blocked

By JILL BARTON, Associated Press Writer

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. - The state's social services agency was granted a court order to block an abortion for a pregnant 13-year-old girl living in a state shelter, prompting an emergency appeal Wednesday by the American Civil Liberties Union.

The ACLU in its appeal on the girl's behalf cited Florida statutes that protect a minor's decision to decide on an abortion.

"No (Department of Children & Families) regulation or state law can override a constitutional right as recognized by the U.S. Supreme Court," said Howard Simon, the organization's executive director for Florida.

"But putting aside the legalisms, forcing a 13-year-old to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term against her wishes not only is illegal and unconstitutional, it's cruel."

The girl learned she was pregnant two weeks ago and planned to have an abortion Tuesday. Her caseworker arranged for transportation and help. But the state Department of Children & Families asked a Palm Beach County juvenile judge Tuesday morning to block the procedure.

The state agency argued the 13 1/2-week pregnant girl — described as L.G. in court documents — is too young and immature to make an informed medical decision, according to the ACLU appeal.

A judge granted a temporary injunction and ordered a psychological evaluation.

There was no immediate indication when a decision on the appeal would be made.

(snip)

So, who's going to pay for the infant's care?

Sometimes, nonfeasance pays off.

Just installed apple updates, and voila! Safari has returned.

Hey, I was a liberal arts major. And I'm a girl. I don't understand computers or math.

Bob Herbert nails it.

On Abu Ghraib, the Big Shots Walk
By BOB HERBERT

When soldiers in war are not properly trained and supervised, atrocities are all but inevitable. This is one reason why the military command structure is so important. There was a time, not so long ago, when commanders were expected to be accountable for the behavior of their subordinates.

That's changed. Under Commander in Chief George W. Bush, the notion of command accountability has been discarded. In Mr. Bush's world of war, it's the grunts who take the heat. Punishment is reserved for the people at the bottom. The people who foul up at the top are promoted.

(snip) full column here.


People wondered what we'd get with our first MBA President. "Just instituting what I learned in B school, ma'am."

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

"Man, when I heard that

there was a plane headin' for the my pala...I mean, the White House, I dropped a load THIS big in my chaps! Good thing they're crotchless!"



(and what's with this new Cheney pose, with the hands folded in front all the time? He sportin' wood 24/7/365?)

"Friends, Romans, countrymen,

we come to bury Social Security, not to praise it!"

As you can see, the helmet

has aerodynamic foils for smoother shifting between lies:

JAZZ HANDS!

Yeah, I can see why he's into Ralph Reed:

A hearty congratulations

to Holden Caulfield and the folks at First Draft for getting mentioned on Al Franken's show today!

And to NTodd of Dohiyi Mir: I'll buy you a pony. Will that lighten your suffering at being overlooked by Mr. Franken?

Just don't tell anyone. They'll all be clamoring for ponies...

"Abdullah,

Your moustache tickles!"



Courtesy of Blue Dragon. And all I have to say is "RETCH!!!!"


Update: Blogger was being blognoxious and wouldn't let me edit. Sorry for the delay.

"This is some kickass LSD!"

Laura declared, as the ghosts of dead writers danced and swirled around her....



Y'know, I'd like to see a pic of her where she DOESN'T have that glazed smile on. I'm serious.

It's Hammer Time!

Well, well, well.

House Speaker Ready to Scrap Ethics Rules

By LARRY MARGASAK, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON - House Speaker Dennis Hastert, leading a Republican retreat, said Wednesday he stands ready to scrap controversial new ethics rules, possibly by day's end.

"I'm willing to step back," Hastert told reporters after a closed-door meeting with members of the GOP rank and file.

Later, in a brief Capitol interview, he said he expected the full House to vote on reversing the rules. Asked whether that would take place later in the day, he replied, "I hope so."

Democrats charge that rules changes pushed through the House by Republicans earlier this year were designed to shelter Majority Leader Tom DeLay, and have stopped the ethics committee from conducting business in retaliation. The powerful Texan was admonished by the panel three times last year and faces scrutiny this year over overseas travel. He has denied any wrongdoing.

(snip)



"Not 'Craw'...."CRAW"!"

I pick on Laura

because Karen Hughes has been notably absent:

First Lady Appears on 'Tonight Show'

By JEREMIAH MARQUEZ, Associated Press Writer

BURBANK, Calif. - Despite her popularity, first lady Laura Bush says she's not interested in running for higher office.
The first lady, who has appeared on the "Tonight Show" four times since President Bush was elected, was in Southern California to visit schools and promote an education initiative for at-risk youth.

(snip)

During the show, the former teacher and librarian talked about her recent trip to Afghanistan.

"It was an honor to be able to bring the best wishes of American women to the women of Afghanistan," she said.

At one point, Leno ribbed the first lady about recent television footage showing her husband and a Saudi diplomat holding hands, asking if she ever became jealous.

"It was actually very sweet," Bush laughed.

"You're a very understanding wife," cracked Leno.


"Understanding" = tripped out on Xanax. And my best wishes aren't what the Afghani women need. Try "civil rights."

Does this mean that if I'm

going into an abortion clinic and I feel like my life is in danger because the wingnuts are menacing me, I can shoot 'em? COOL!

"Gov. Bush signs controversial force with force bill
Measure will allow Floridians to meet `force with force'


By Sean Mussenden
Tallahassee Bureau

TALLAHASSEE · With a National Rifle Association lobbyist looking on, Gov. Jeb Bush signed into law Tuesday a bill that will allow Floridians to use force on an attacker without first trying to escape.

Bush signed into law a broad new expansion of the "castle doctrine" -- an old legal tenant giving residents the license to kill criminals while protecting their home.

Under current Florida law, a person attacked in any public place -- a supermarket, a bar, a library -- must first attempt to retreat before using deadly force in self-defense.

The new measure, which takes effect in October, removes the obligation to flee, allowing a person to legally kill their attacker if they feel threatened.

"When you're in a position where you're being threatened -- a life-threatening situation -- to have to retreat and put yourself in a very precarious position defies common sense," Bush said.

(snip)

It struck me last night,

that the ever-tightening face of Laura Bush reminded me of someone else:



Tuesday, April 26, 2005

"Hmmm, hnmm, hmmm, hmmm...."

"Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses
Evil minds that plot destruction
Sorcerers of death’s construction
In the fields the bodies burning
As the war machine keeps turning..."

Like Janus, only evil

and stupid and callous, and a whole host of other adjectives...

Cheney, Bush, and Rumsfeld during

a lull in brush-clearing:

Believe in God? Oh, I don't think so.

I just found out late this afternoon that I guy I've known for almost ten years died on Saturday after developing a blood clot during routine elective surgery on his knee. Greg was a phenomenally good, gentle and kind man, who never spoke ill of others. Honestly. He always had a ready smile and an engaging story. He and I would toss jokes to one another, never letting go entirely of our days in stand-up comedy, comrades. And because he wasn't around every day, it was always a pleasure when he did show up at the gym or when he hosted fight nights, and his friends at Five Points Fitness, and from well before, will miss him.

Greg leaves behind his wife and their two children. He was 41 years old.


Meanwhile, Tom DeLay and Dick Cheney still walk upon the earth.

And THAT is why I don't believe in God. Or at least, a just God. This one, I think, is on the take.


Addendum: I guess this is another one of those moments when one has to take stock and remember that each day is important in its own way.

Oh look, honey!

Synchronized Lying is on ESPN!

okay, that's just freaky.

Sumatran Quake Left 'Scar' on Earth's Gravity

By LiveScience Staff

The devastating 2004 Sumatran earthquake, which caused the worst tsunami in modern times, should have left a detectable scar on Earth's gravity field, European scientists said Monday.

A satellite planned for launch next year could detect the blemish, they said.

The magnitude 9.3 earthquake has already been said to have shortened the day by fractions of a second, shifted the North Pole by an inch, and made the planet less fat around the middle.

The new prediction comes from Roberto Sabadini and Giorgio Dalla Via at the University of Milan. The idea is fairly straightforward. The strength of Earth's gravity varies depending on the depth of a trench or height of a mountain, as well as the density of material. Even changing tides alter the gravity field.

(snip)

Ah. The transition to Fascism is almost complete.

Students Rewarded for Tattling at School

By DOUG GROSS, Associated Press Writer

ATLANTA - For a growing number of students, the easiest way to make a couple of hundred dollars has nothing to do with chores or after-school jobs, and everything to do with informing on classmates.

Tragedies like last month's deadly shooting at a Red Lake, Minn., school have prompted more schools to offer cash and other prizes — including pizza and premium parking spots — to students who report classmates who carry guns, drugs or alcohol, commit vandalism or otherwise break school rules.

"For kids of that age, it's hard for them to tell on their peers. This gives them an opportunity to step up if they know something that will help us make an arrest," said James Kinchen, an assistant school superintendent in Houston County, Ga., which earlier this month started offering rewards of up to $100 for reporting relatively minor crimes like vandalism or theft and $500 for information about a crime, or plans for a crime, involving a gun.

Critics call them "snitch" programs, saying they are a knee-jerk reaction to student violence. Some education professionals fear such policies could create a climate of distrust in schools and turn students against each other.

"There are very few things that I can think of that would be more effective at destroying that sense of community," said Bruce Marlowe, an education psychology professor at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I.

About 2,000 schools and colleges, from Honolulu to Palm Beach County, Fla., have adopted Student Crime Stoppers programs like Houston County, according to the nonprofit Crime Stoppers U.S.A., which began helping schools set up such programs in 1983.


Most schools offer an anonymous phone line or a school drop box for tips. Rewards range from cash to gift certificates to free parking passes.

Elsewhere in Georgia, Model High School in Rome uses the proceeds from its candy and soda sales to pay students up to $100 for tips about drugs or weapons on campus or other crimes.

The goal: "Heading off some problems rather than waiting until they happen and responding afterward," said Tim Hensley, a school system spokesman.

Some students fear classmates with a grudge or set on making some quick money may level false accusations or plant drugs or weapons in their lockers.

But Houston County's Kinchen said: "That will sort itself out. Our officers deal with these kind of things every day; they can find out which kid is being set up and which kid is telling the truth."

(snip)

Frank Farley, an educational psychology professor at Temple University in Philadelphia, said students should be taught to speak up without being offered a reward.

"This idea of surveillance — there's something unsavory there," Farley said. "We're familiar with the history of that in the former Soviet Union and Nazi Germany." He added: "I think it's bad civics."


Yeah, and don't try it once you get out and go to work for the government.

When Brecht meets Spears

a friend just sent me this. given how much I enjoyed "Shockheaded Peter," I laughed.

Oops.

Cue Nelson Muntz laugh...

Money Flows More Slowly to DeLay Defense

By SUZANNE GAMBOA, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON - Majority Leader Tom DeLay continued raising money for his legal defense fund early this year, but the flow of money slowed significantly compared with last year, according to reports DeLay filed Monday.

DeLay raised $47,750 in the first three months of the year, far less than the $254,250 in contributions during the last three months of 2004, according to the report filed with the Legislative Resources Center.

DeLay also reported spending $34,000 from the fund, largely on attorneys, between January 1 and March 31 this year. The report was posted late Monday on PoliticalMoneyLine, a Web site that tracks political fund raising and spending.

DeLay has been under an ethical cloud for several months over his ties to a lobbyist under federal criminal investigation, Jack Abramoff.

(snip)

The biggest sum of contributions to DeLay's fund came from Alabama Republican Spencer Bachus. He gave $5,000 from his re-election committee and another $5,000 from Growth and Prosperity Political Action Committee, his fundraising organization that provides money to other Republican candidates.

Other members contributing were Republican Reps. Steve King of Iowa, $1,000; Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee, $1,000; Mario Diaz-Balart of Florida, $5,000; Kenny Marchant of Texas, $5,000, and Dave Weldon of Florida, $5,000.

Individuals who gave included Ned Holmes, a Houston real estate investor who serves on the Texas Parks and Wildlife Commission, contributed $5,000.


Yup. No conflict of interest there...

"Don't even THINK I'm gonna

hold your hand, little mister."

Y'know, I only minored in psychology.

But body language is pretty easy to read:

Condoleezza Rice

gropes herself for the cameras in a vain attempt to draw White House attention away from Crown Prince Abdullah.

Safari aggro

Okay, so two nights ago, I lost my Internet connection, which kills me since I love nothing better than waking up in the morning and finding out that we're just THIS much closer to Armageddon. So I did what any normal, red-blooded New Yorker would do, after reinstalling OSX -- I called Time Warner to whine and bitch and curse at a complete stranger.

watertiger to support tech #1: y'know, ordinarily, all of the lights on the broadband box are either on or blinking. There's just two on at the moment.

support tech #1: okay, we're going to try to refresh your TP/IP selection.

watertiger: but the lights...

support tech #1: go to the apple menu and select preferences...

watertiger: (sigh) alright. we'll do it your way.

(10 minutes later after failed attempts to get safari or my email to open)

watertiger: nope. I got nuthin. safari loads, but I don't even get a window.

support tech #1: I'm going to have to bump this up to a level 3 tech. I'm going to put you on hold...

watertiger: NOOOOOOO....sigh.

(10 minutes later)

support tech #2: thank you for waiting. what is the problem?

watertiger: [explains situation] oh, and I told the guy downstairs that only two of the lights on the broadband box are lit.

support tech #2: okay, we're going to try to refresh your TP/IP selection.

watertiger: we tried that already. and yes, we already unplugged the broadband box and plugged it back in.

support tech #2: what's your IP address?

watertiger: [reads IP address from screen]

support tech #2: hmmm. everything looks clear from this end. It's your computer.

watertiger: duh.

support tech #2: we've scheduled a tech visit.

watertiger: [screeches expletives] When the hell did THAT happen?

support tech #2: The [guy downstairs] did it.

watertiger: For WHEN?

support tech #2: The 28th.

watertiger: WHAT THE FUCK?! I HAVE TO WAIT THAT LONG?

support tech #2: that's the earliest we can get there.

watertiger: Jesus fucking Christ. [sighs in resignation] Fine. Have a nice night. [hangs up]

watertiger cocks her head for a moment and thinks aloud "I wonder what would happen if I pressed this button [that says Internet On/Off]?"

Presses the button.

Broadband box lights up like a Christmas tree, and voila, I get my email back.

Safari, on the other hand, is still fucked like a $5 whore. Gah.

Monday, April 25, 2005

You should be so lucky.

Man Says He Found Skin on Sandwich

DAYTON, Ohio - A man is suing a fast-food restaurant operator for more than $50,000, claiming he found a slice of skin on his chicken sandwich.

David Scheiding filed the lawsuit in Montgomery County Common Pleas Court on April 1 after rejecting a settlement offer from GZK Inc., his lawyer said. GZK owns the Arby's restaurant in Tipp City where he bought the sandwich.

Scheiding said he realized something wasn't right when he bit into the sandwich on June 18 and found a piece of flesh about three-fourths of an inch long.

"It looked like I was seeing fingerprints on it," he said. "I got sick and went to the bathroom."

Miami County health investigators talked to the restaurant manager, who had a bandage on his right thumb and wore a latex glove, according to a health district report. The manager said he sliced skin from the thumb while shredding lettuce, and sanitized the area but didn't throw away the bin of lettuce, the report said. Scheiding's sandwich contained lettuce.

"Why wasn't the food searched, and why wasn't it thrown away?" said Scheiding's lawyer, Hank Hyde.

Christine Koeller, vice president of marketing and communications with GZK, said what happened was unintentional.

"(The manager) did destroy product that was in and around the slicer immediately, and did everything that he thought was appropriate to do," Koeller said.


Y'know, you do realize that when you bite into a chicken sandwich, you're biting into MUSCLE, right? What's a little skin?

"Remember our first date?

I picked you up at your door...you were wearing that blue caftan that brings out your eyes..."

Bush clearing brush on his ranch

when the press ISN'T watching:

"No, Abdullah. You come get

the candy in MY pocket."

"Islands in the stream...

that is what we are..."

Obviously, they're communists,

waving red flags: Protestors outside a church decrying "Justice Sunday" (and rightfully so).

Another photo that writes its own caption.

Getting a jump on Friday Little Big Catblogging

sorry. couldn't resist.

This caption caught my eye...

and I wondered, why would the Vice President need to meet with CP Abdullah BEFORE the President does? Hmmm?

Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah met on April 24, 2005 with Vice President Dick Cheney, one day before the kingdom's leader was scheduled to talk with President Bush about record high oil prices and other issues.

I blame Justice Sunday

Safari went haywire on me last night - I think I downloaded a windows media player that fucked with my computer. Anyway, tonight's maintenance (and reloading OSX). I'll be back.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

"Yo, East Coast, West Coast..."

"I'm getting down with my bad self, yo."

Is it me does this guy

have a scrot sac in lieu of a "soul patch"?

Alright, alright. The eyes have it.

NYMary, if you're out there, here. I've plucked out mine eyes...

AI-YEEEEEEEE!



no words, no words....

"The New Pope was part of

WHOSE Youth?"

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Is Barney freakin' paralyzed

from being dropped so many times? Why must he be carried everywhere like a clutch purse?

I love about the caption

that accompanies this photo:



"The nature of the injury was not immediately clear."

EXCUSE ME?! What's to know?!

I have to give this Administration high marks

for consistency:

Top Army Brass Cleared in Abu Ghraib Case

By ROBERT BURNS, AP Military Writer

WASHINGTON - Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez, faulted by some for leadership failures in the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal, has been cleared by the Army of all allegations of wrongdoing and will not be punished, officials said.

(snip)

Sanchez, who became the senior U.S. commander in Iraq in June 2003, two months after the fall of Baghdad, has not been accused of criminal violations. It is unclear, however, whether the controversy surrounding his role in Iraq will stand in the way of his earning a fourth star. He is nearing the end of his tenure as commander of the Army's 5th Corps, based in Germany.

(snip)

In a statement issued Friday that did not mention Sanchez or other specific cases, Sen. John Warner, chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee, said that as soon as all Pentagon assessments of accountability are complete he will hold a committee hearing "to examine the adequacy of those reviews" and to hear senior civilian and military officials address the issue.

Warner, R-Va., said he strongly agrees with one investigation report that concluded last year that commanders should be held accountable for their action or inaction and that military as well as civilian leaders in the Pentagon "share this burden of responsibility."

The office of Michigan Sen. Carl Levin, the ranking Democrat on the Senate Armed Services Committee, declined to comment on the matter.

(snip)

More here.

When does Sanchez get the Presidential Medal of Freedom?

Friday, April 22, 2005

"Oh, yeah.

You blend." [/Marisa Tomei]

"I saw the Virgin Mary

in a spy satellite shot of a North Korean nuclear facility!"



Oh, wait. It's just another vulva.

Okay, I think it's time for the Sci-Fi Channel

to ease up on the "half man/half beast" theme. Oh, and plagiarizing movies like "Swamp Thing."

No, those aren't ideas

floating above his head...

"He can't pronounce

'nuclear'! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"