Wednesday, November 30, 2005

"So I turned to Scooter and said,

'What makes you think I'm even remotely interested in banging little girls?'"



"And then I clawed his face off."

He doesn't just LOOK like a weasel.

Samuel Alito will overturn Roe v. Wade, if he's given the opportunity. And in case you had any doubts:

Supreme Court nominee Samuel A. Alito Jr. was an architect of the Reagan administration's failed 1985 attempt to have the high court consider overruling Roe v. Wade, according to a memo from the period released today.

Alito, then assistant to the solicitor general, urged his boss to use a case before the court to "make clear that we disagree with Roe v. Wade and would welcome the opportunity to brief the issue of whether, and if so to what extent, that decision should be overruled."



AP/Ron Edmonds

Rest of story here.

"Whoa, it's definitely true!

He IS Lt. Governor STEELE!"


REUTERS/Jason Reed

I can only hazard a guess where Bush's other hand's at.

Sammy the Serval says,

"You call THAT a plan for victory?! HAH!"


AP/Kevin Frayer

"If I wish it, I'll make it so."


AFP/Paul J. Richards

The Three Faces of Bush.


AFP/Paul J. Richards


REUTERS/Jason Reed


REUTERS/Jim Young

I tend to focus more on political figures

and their demon spawn, but I was just visiting NTodd's place, and he linked to the Neocon Recreational Onanism . . . er, the National Review Online site. More precisely, he linked to a Kathryn Lopez (a/k/a K-Lo) post in which K-Lo bemoans the fact that the midshipmen who had been rounded up and forced to clap louder for Preznit Tinkerbell this morning weren't more . . . enthusiastic.

But here, read for yourself. And wonder, with some trepidation, of how Ms. Lopez whiles away the hours, if watching reruns of Bush speeches is her idea of a good time.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

"Why yes, I made all the doves myself."

(laughter)

"What's so funny about doves?"


REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

The theme of this year's holiday celebration is 'All Things Bright and Beautiful.' Does white phosphorus count as "bright and beautiful"?

Midshipmen react to Bush's

exciting . . . PLAN FOR VICTORY!!!


REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst


(for the sake of verity, this was taken while the poor guys were WAITING over an hour before they sobered up the Preznit so he could spout the same old crap that he's been spouting since before March 19, 2003.)

Don Rumsfeld laughs at the outtakes

for "Iraq: Revenge of the Neocons."


REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst

Who knew exploding body parts could be so darned funny?!

"Let's twist again..."

In a rare moment of levity, the German foreign minister and U.S. Secretary of State shook their respective booties.


AP/Gerald Herbert

"We're going to win in Iraq.

Tinkerbell COMMANDS that you clap louder!"


REUTERS/Jim Young

"Someone left the Chimp out

in the rain..."*


REUTERS/Yuri Gripas

(without apologies to "MacArthur Park," and with thanks to attaturk for the brain nudge)

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Yes, it's the Kiss of Death.

Bush sucks the soul from Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R-CO).


REUTERS/Jim Young

No wonder no one wants him on their campaign trail.

"This Christmas, I'd like a a bottle of

Johnnie Walker Blue Label, a new chainsaw, and an exit strategy for Iraq."


AP/Victor Calzada

"You guys gimme a minute?

I wanna go grab a dime bag."


REUTERS/Jim Young

"Hey, babe.

Come here often?"


REUTERS/Jason Reed

"Look happier to see me."


REUTERS/Jim Young

Ordinarily, I'd scream "Bad touch!",

but somehow, I don't think it would have much impact.


REUTERS/Ivan Buslayev/Files


(Russian participants of a Fat Beauty Queen contest carry Moscow's Mayor Yuri Luzhkov at a festival at Luzhniki stadium in Moscow in this June 26, 2005 file photo. K-Lo is probably hurt that she wasn't invited.)

"The most foolish war since 9 B.C."

Well, that's quite an accomplishment.

Though hardly surprising.



"C'mon, grovel for me, P.O.W.boy!"

"You will be mine, all mine."*



(*With apologies to Mick Jagger)

"That's right. We bad."

"We bad."*

And then the President and Rep. Kyl (Doofus-AZ) showed off their line dancing skillz.


REUTERS/Jim Young

*With apologies to Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor.


(For an alternative version with my favorite recurring character, see attaturk's joint.)

Monday, November 28, 2005

My money's on "nefarious bastard."

Lawrence Wilkerson empties his barrels, then takes a second to reload.

Wilkerson blamed Vice President Dick Cheney, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and like-minded aides. He said Cheney must have sincerely believed that Iraq could be a spawning ground for new terror assaults, because "otherwise I have to declare him a moron, an idiot or a nefarious bastard."


REUTERS/Bob Snow

Dog or Cutesy Japanese robot?

You make the call.

Dennis Miller doesn't look too happy

about how far his career has fallen.


AP/John Miller

But Dennis, didn't 9/11 change EVERYTHING?

Come on, you know you're all wondering it.

How close WAS he to slamming his head on that expensive prop?


REUTERS/Jim Young

"Wave or git that last bit of coke?

Preznitin' is hard work, I tell ya!"


AP/Rod Aydelotte

"Must resist urge to click heels..."

Even the power of MagicBoobs™

can't make her staffers stay.

"Wait! Where are you going? But . . . my boobs!"




(hat tip to Eschatonian Litz)

Well, if Bush is going down for Iraq,

he's going to take a couple of countries with him.



And Tony Blair backed the wrong horse, too.


photo courtesy www.pscottcummins.com

Yes, it IS just too easy.

Piece of Supreme Court facade falls off.

On the fifth anniversary of the decision day the Supreme Court agreed to hear Bush v. Gore.

Shame on you, SCOTUS.

Rumsfeld auditions for the part of

Lord Voldemort. No prosthetics required.


AFP/File/Joyce Naltchayan

Bush sneaks out behind the ranch

to down a Rum and Coke.


AFP/Saeed Khan

Lethal juveniles.

This administration has always behaved like an intellectually corrupt schoolyard bully stealing the nerdy kid's homework, so this latest grab of someone else's idea comes as no surprise:

White House claims 'strong consensus' on Iraq pullout

WASHINGTON (AFP) - The White House for the first time has claimed ownership of an Iraq withdrawal plan, arguing that a troop pullout blueprint unveiled this past week by a Democratic senator was "remarkably similar" to its own.

(snip)

"Nuh-uh! It was our idea first!"


AP/J. Scott Applewhite

"I am a crook!"


AP/Keith Srakocic

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Mastodon bones found in Illinois.

They were found in Denny Hastert's backyard, covered in BBQ sauce.



"Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrack!"

We're gonna party like it's 1969...


AFP/Mandel Ngan

Tom Cruise tries to catch

his career.


AP/Xinhua Photo, Wang Jianchao

Damned Thetans are to blame.

Next, a horse head in his bed.

Looks like Andy Card's been gittin' uppity an' shit.

Since the hosing by Sasquatch didn't seem to work...

The New York Times auditions for

Rita Cosby - Live and Direct.

Talk about your FOX News-style reportage.

And bedbugs, stealthy and fast-moving nocturnal creatures that were all but eradicated by DDT after World War II, have recently been found in hospital maternity wards, private schools and even a plastic surgeon's waiting room.

Bedbugs are back and spreading through New York City like a swarm of locusts on a lush field of wheat.




Anybody really want to know how old this story is? Read the fine print - the Helmsley Palace case was SETTLED last year. It was brought two years ago. The person claiming it's an epidemic? The guy most likely to profit from playing off New Yorkers' neuroses - an exterminator. This is NOT a new problem, a "swarm of locusts."

Once again, the New York Times provides drama over reality. Sheesh. Or should I say "Sheets"?

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Here we go again!

Another "miracle" proving the existence of God.

We already know of the existence of Satan:

One can see the family resemblance.


REUTERS/Jason Reed

I probably would've suggested he go with

white socks with that skirt.

"I believe in miracles...

since you came along."


AFP/Getty Images/Mark Wilson

Lott lunges for Frist's throat.

And herein lies the problem.


REUTERS/Jim Young

These yahoos equate withdrawal from Iraq with failure. There are no feasible alternatives, no gray; only black and white.

Yeah, that's nice.

Bush thanks troops in phone calls

CRAWFORD, Texas (AP) -- President Bush said Thursday that he's thankful for troops serving in a time of war as he made Thanksgiving Day phone calls to 10 members of the U.S. military services stationed around the world.

Friday, November 25, 2005

The Bush twins are caught purging

after their Thanksgiving glutfest.

"Hey George! Still at 34%!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!


AP/San Diego Zoo, Ken Bohn