Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I am here.

I was losing my edge, so I'm out for a week of well-timed sailing vacay. If I really like it, I will dye my hair ultra blonde, get engaged, take a picture of myself jumping overboard with a coal-mining shark, and then go "missing." That'll give Rita Cosby a major hairball to hack up on her show.

If I ever go ashore and trip over a computer, I'll post a photo or two. But in the meantime, peruse the fabulous blogs to the right!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

I often have that effect on children.

"I don't think anyone anticipated

the breach of the levees." - G.W. Bush

No one, except the White House.

Another rapt group of Bush supporters.

AP/Charlie Riedel

Aw, how disappointing for those Nazi youths.

Conservative Alumnus Pulls Offer to Buy Lecture Tapes.

Opponents of the plan, which include some conservatives, said that while the monetary incentive was one of the most offensive aspects of the plan, its essential nature remained intact.

"He had gone over the line legally, but in terms of the repugnance, the sorts of things he said, the attempts to engage in character assassination and defaming people who have earned positions as tenured professors, that really hasn't changed," said Sondra Hale, a U.C.L.A. anthropology professor who is No. 6 on Mr. Jones's "Dirty Thirty" list.

Why is it always the pencil-necked geeks?

Monica Almeida/The New York Times

This makes my heart glad.

Up yours, Abu G.

AP/Charles Dharapak

The students were later rounded up

and summarily executed.

AP/Charles Dharapak

As he spoke, more than a dozen students stood silently with their backs turned to the attorney general. Outside the classroom where Gonzales was to speak, a pair of protesters held up a sheet that said, "Don't torture the Constitution."

AP/Charles Dharapak

Bravo, people! Bravo!

"Make sure you get my good side."

"Preborn." Just heat and serve!

AFP/Karen Bleier

Pro-lifers sure do love dem cameras.

"Let me tell you how I'm going to vote.

See, it's like this: When I was a freshman at University of Maryland, I had grand aspirations of becoming a best-selling author...

(3 hours later)

...and then my lovely wife ordered the osso bucco! It was really funny, and very apt, given the subject of today's vote..."

REUTERS/Larry Downing

I foresee a new superhero on the horizon: The Bloviator!

I guess "strict construction" only applies

to the Constitution.

Scalia, paid for by the Federalist Society.

"Lookin' out for Number 1!"

He's so full of Number 2.

I'm confused. Really?

I thought Bush was invincible. Delusional motherfucker.

Impeachment hearings: The White House prepares for the worst.

"God, I love the applause!"

AFP/Paul J. Richards

Monday, January 23, 2006

I guess they don't want Jenna

offering to "do shooters" with the Pope:

The First Lady, with daughter Barbara, will have an audience with Pope Benedict XVI during a visit to Europe as leader of the official US delegation to the 2006 Winter Olympic Games in Turin.

I'm tellin' ya - either Jenna's in rehab or she's "having elective surgery."

"Camelot! Camelot! Camelot!"


"It's just a model."*

REUTERS/Jason Reed

* As always, apologies to the members of Monty Python's Flying Circus.

"A 'Constitution', ya say?

I never done heard a' no con-stee-tushun."

AFP/Paul J. Richards

Cue "Dueling Banjos"...

THIS is what's wrong with Kansas.

AP/Charlie Riedel

Whoo-wee! Lookit all those black folks!

And then St. Vitus

prepared to dance.

REUTERS/Jason Reed

How low can you go? Bush's stylist is making him wear school colors now?

"I say, Yay-uh, for verily,

your neighbors will be spied on and it will be good!"

REUTERS/Jason Reed

Oh, fabulous. Maybe they'll make a reality show

out of this:

Amy Fisher and the Buttafuocos plan a 'reunion'.

Joey Buttafuoco, who was jailed for statutory rape following the 1992 shooting, said he planned to ask Fisher to explain her actions.

"I've been asked about a million times by Mary Jo, `Why did Amy shoot me?' I was never able to get that answer," said Buttafuoco, now 49.

"There's going to be a lot of shocking revelations, and that's why I'm excited to sit down to do this," he said.

Hmm. Joey's obviously not the largest caliber bullet in the gun.

Have these guys hit puberty yet?

Dan Bartlett:

AP/Ron Edmonds

Ralph Reed:

"Li'l Scottie":


There is something inherently creepy about these baby-faced Republican types. Just sayin'.

Giving panhandlers money isn't helping them.

They're just going to spend it on crack.

REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst

I'm too sexy for my microchips...

On the perp walk!"

REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst

Whatever you do, don't make eye contact.

Bush suddenly remembers THAT

photo of him with Jack Abramoff.

REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst

"You will be my Number Two!


AFP/Toru Hanai

When cartoons come to life.

I wonder if anyone remembers "Kimba the White Lion"...

AFP/Giuseppe Cacace

Sunday, January 22, 2006

I love a man in a uniform.

Of course, I'd prefer something a little louder than that.

AP/Maurizio Brambatti

Let me guess.

Cheney and/or Rumsfeld has shares in the company that makes the vaccine.

Halliburton contaminates U.S. soldiers.

"My profits are up to HERE!!"


And the the newly crowned Miss America

raced back to the bathroom and vomited up the french fry.

AP/Sam Morris

That's some walking stick.

Wouldn't it be easier to just use a cane?

AP/Noah Berger

(Roe v. Wade is 33 today)

Deborah "Howl".

Really, she's a laugh riot.

But it is profoundly distressing if political discourse has sunk to a level where abusive name-calling and the crudest of sexual language are the norm, where facts have no place in an argument. This unbounded, unreasoning rage is not going to help this newspaper, this country or democracy.

Ms. Howell has obviously never listened to what passes as mainstream talk radio.

And furthermore, she STILL misses the point of the "outrage."

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Glad to see the Bush Twins are

finally gainfully employed.

AP/Luca Bruno

Stone cold busted.

Bush and Abramoff—Say Cheese?

White House press secretary Scott McClellan admits that the White House has been on a search mission for any photos showing President Bush with toxic lobbyist Jack Abramoff, who is cooperating with the Justice Department on its investigation of a wide-ranging lobbying scandal.

At a press conference, McClellan said if there were pictures, which officials hadn’t found, they might have been taken at a Christmas-party line, where the President poses with hundreds of people. “The President does not know him, nor does the President recall ever meeting him,” McClellan said.


If the White House can’t find the photos, prosecutors already know where to look. The Washingtonian has seen five photos of the President with Abramoff or his family. One photo shows the President and Abramoff shaking hands at a meeting in the Old Executive Office Building, where a bearded-Abramoff introduced Bush to several of the lobbyist’s native-American clients.


Sources say the photographs are being kept safe. Abramoff would tell prosecutors, if asked, that not only did he know the President, but the President knew the names of Abramoff’s children and asked about them during their meetings. At one such photo session, Bush discussed the fact that both he and Abramoff were fathers of twins.

"So I said,

'that's no Bradley armored vehicle, that's my wife!'"

AFP/Don Emmert

"Thanks, I'll be here all week. Try the kitten tartare."

You want "mean spirited"? I'll give you

"mean spirited," you chinless, sociopathological, kettle name-calling fuck...

Rove says Democrats are 'mean spirited'.

REUTERS/Ali Jarekji

(any excuse to post a picture of a pissed-off tiger)

Bill Frist wears ladies' undergarments.

Specifically, slips:

Frist calls Alito Democrats' "nightmare".

Frist, a Tennessee Republican, made the remark to fellow Republicans during a private tour he gave them of the Senate chamber when the Senate was not in session.

Frist was not available for comment following his remarks.

Asked about the senator's remark, Frist spokesman Bob Stevenson said that . . . "There are liberals, many of them represented by the outside groups, who will do anything to kill any nominee put forward by this administration."


"Cats? I love 'em in burritos!"

REUTERS/Jason Reed

Friday, January 20, 2006

Oh, I get it.

A poodle skirt. Riiight.

World leaders.



The Dim Bulb.


"Right, real funny.

Who put the Bush fart toy on my chair?"

REUTERS/Yuri Gripas

Anybody wanna hazard a guess

what the screaming backdrop will be?

Bush to visit NSA on Wednesday.


You'll have to fill me in - I'll be on a airplane headed for the Caribbean.

"Wilkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome..."

Expose a liberal professor, win $100!

(hat tip to Atrios)

Friday "Is it Saturday Yet?" ligerblogging

Thanks to spork_incident for the pic.

"Is it twue what they say about black men?

It's TWUE! It's TWUE!"*

WH/Shealah Craighead

As always, my apologies to black men, Mel Brooks, and the late, great Madeleine Kahn

(thanks to reader Ciara for the . . . er . . . heads up)

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Yeah, I can see the resemblance.

Little Debbie looks like a tight-assed kid. Figures she'd grow up to be Deborah Howell, tight-assed "ombudsman" toeing the party line at the WaPo.

photo courtesy firedoglake.

Well, isn't that quaint.

Bush Rules Out Senate Run for First Lady


STERLING, Va. - The Senate may be the place for some former first ladies, but President Bush on Thursday categorically ruled out a run for office by his wife, Laura Bush.

"She's not interested in running for office. She's interested in literacy," Bush said during an appearance at JK Moving & Storage.

The topic came up as the president took questions from his audience after a speech on the economy. A woman asked if Mrs. Bush would ever run for Senate from the first couple's home state of Texas, and Bush responded "never" — twice.


Because she might have to take a drug test?

REUTERS/Jason Reed

Nice to see those "feminist" values apply at home.

I'd like to see him behind bars.

If only that were the dock at The Hague.


"Arrrrrrrr, arrrrrrrr, bin Laden,

terror, arrrrrr!"

AP/Mary Altaffer

Dude seriously needs to look into a rabies shot.

"Whoops! Seems Ah got a

little TOO excited over my health care coverage plan!"


"Anybody got a tissue?"

While Brownie lectures to meteorologists

about how to be wrong all the time and still get paid, more than 3,200 Americans are still missing after Hurricane Katrina.

"No, touch your nose, sir,

not your giant Pukka friend's."

REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

Another test failed.

"Just call me 'Vichy Mike'!"

AP/Jean Dixon

I love the fact that Brownie was addressing a meeting of . . . wait for it . . . meteorologists!