"Let me tell you how I'm going to vote.
See, it's like this: When I was a freshman at University of Maryland, I had grand aspirations of becoming a best-selling author...
(3 hours later)
...and then my lovely wife ordered the osso bucco! It was really funny, and very apt, given the subject of today's vote..."
I foresee a new superhero on the horizon: The Bloviator!