Friday, March 31, 2006

Another open letter.

Honest to god, I just don't get it.

Dear Senators Schumer, Feinstein, Kennedy, and Biden,

WHERE THE FUCK were you today? You too busy playing golf or whoring for campaign funds or getting your hairplugs realigned or being generally terrified of causing a scene?

I mean, Jesus Christ in a Jean Paul Gaultier torpedo bra, people! All you had to do was show up for the Judiciary Committee censure hearing and maybe asking some pertinent questions about Constitutional law and presidential overreaching and rule of law, but what did you do? You fucking bailed on Senators Feingold and Leahy, leaving them to inhale the miasma that is the breath of Bush cocksuckers Specter, Graham, Sessions, Cornyn and Hatch. And fellate they did, as eagerly as $20 whores picking off merchant seamen dockside.

God knows, the Fellating Five didn't let John Dean, former White House counsel to the villainous Richard Nixon, get a word in, opting instead to sneer and stab at him like a bunch of Heathers, calling him an ex-con and purposely mishearing his testimony. Here was a man who lived through impeachment hearings and understands completely the implications of censure, sitting in front of the Committee, willing to answer questions (or at least try, when he wasn't being cut off by the questioning Senator or the anti-censure witnesses). Dean would have handed you reasoned, thoughtful analysis and would have reinforced the argument for censure, but nooooo, you had to go meet with your fucking interior decorator and choose wallpaper swatches, or something equally important as the GUTTING OF THE GODDAMNED CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES and the ERADICATION OF YOUR FUCKING JOBS, YOU PUSILLANIMOUS ASSCLOWNS!

What, were you afraid of questioning Bruce Fein, noted conservative attorney, who was there IN SUPPORT OF CENSURE?! Bruce Fein, who spelled out in concise, numbered paragraphs so that even the mentally impaired on the Judiciary Committee could understand (yes, I'm looking at you, Huckleberry Sessions), that this President is the most dangerous thing to happen to the United States Constitution:

President Bush’s intent was to keep the program secret from Congress and to avoid political or legal accountability indefinitely. Secrecy of that sort makes checks and balances a farce. Sunshine is the best disinfectant. Popular government without popular information is impossible. . . .

But no. You had more important things to do. Like having a lobbyist take you to breakfast at the Four Seasons or practice your golf swing, leaving Senators Leahy and Feingold to look across the yawning chasm of empty chairs at the Republican side. You, the champions of of the little people (well, not you Sen. Biden, D-MBNA), the standard-bearers for the democratic process. You know, if you're so uninterested in serving on the Committee, I'm sure there are others who are equally adept at equivocating and backpedaling as you lot.

So before President Bush does away with Congress altogether, I recommend that you dithering douchebags listen very, very closely to what your alleged colleague, Russ Feingold, had to say today:

If Congress doesn’t have the power to define the contours of the President’s Article II powers through legislation, then I have no idea why people are scrambling to draft legislation to authorize what they think the President is doing. If the President’s legal theory, which is shared by some of our witnesses today, is correct, then FISA is a dead letter, all of the supposed protections for civil liberties contained in the reauthorization of the Patriot Act that we just passed are a cruel hoax, and any future legislation we might pass regarding surveillance or national security is a waste of time and a charade. Under this theory, we no longer have a constitutional system consisting of three co-equal branches of government, we have a monarchy.

And guess what: you shitheads won't be on the short list for courtiers.

"You can wear it tonight, babe.

I'll play 'referee' and card you."

REUTERS/Phil Noble

"Ah cain't git enough of

that there margarita salt! Ah'll be back!"

AP/Rod Aydelotte

A few suggestions for Howard Kaloogian.

It would make sense, as Josh Marshall points out, that the Army didn't want The Loogie "posting pictures of military installations and secure zones -- which seem to be the only places Kaloogian set foot. . . . But obviously that's completely different from on the street snaps.

In other words, it's the Army's fault. Or maybe the Marines. Who knows?"

Since he's all about draping himself in the American flag, I have a few ideas that The Loogie might want to use to garner those "feel good about Amurka" votes:

"Thank you for coming in.

We'll call you if we have a position available."

REUTERS/Chris Wattie

Watertiger Fashion Tip of the Day

A zoot suit should not be composed of Van Heusen separates.

AP/Gregory Bull

And ideally, the jacket is much, much longer.

Some have monkeys...

(courtesy Cute Overload)

He's got a long reach

for someone with such stubby little fingers.

Church fires photog over Scalia picture: Freelancer pays for ‘right thing’.

Peter Smith, who had freelanced for The Pilot newspaper for a decade, lost the job yesterday after the Herald ran his photo on its front page. Smith said he has no regrets about releasing it.

“I did the right thing. I did the ethical thing,” said Smith, 51, an assistant photojournalism professor at Boston University.

And for a lighthearted look at Justice Pottymouth, check out Attaturk's trilogy: The Wankery.

You tell me.

Which person is contributing more to our economy?

It seems to me that the craze of outsourcing jobs overseas has had a far greater impact on the job market in the United States than illegal immigration.

Well, that and greedy boards of directors.

WASHINGTON (MarketWatch) -- U.S. corporate profits have increased 21.3% in the past year and now account for the largest share of national income in 40 years, the Commerce Department said Thursday.

Strong productivity gains and subdued wage growth boosted before-tax profits to 11.6% of national income in the fourth quarter of 2005, the biggest share since the summer of 1966.

For all of 2005, before-tax profits totaled $1.35 trillion, up from $1.16 trillion in 2004 and just $767 billion in 2001.

Meanwhile, the share of national income going to wage and salary workers has fallen to 56.9%. Except for a brief period in 1997, that's the lowest share for labor income since 1966.

Rest of story here.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

And then Stephen Harper

punched him in the mouth.*

REUTERS/Jason Reed

*with apologies to Woody Allen.

(for those unfamiliar with his stand-up work, google Woody Allen, The Lost Generation)

"I'm happy to see you."

"Si, so it would appear. GUARDS!"

REUTERS/Jason Reed

Is that a burrito in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

It's My Little Clony!

Where's Holden?


(A five-week old filly cloned from Royal Blue Boon, right, runs with the mare that carried the embryo and nurses her at Royal Vista Southwest in Purcell, Okla., Thursday, March 16, 2006. Royal Blue Boon has performance earnings of $381,764 and her offspring have earned $2.5 million. James Bailey, a veterinarian at the horse breeding facility that provided horses to carry the cloned embryos provided by ViaGen, said the University of California Davis genetics lab has confirmed that Royal Blue Boon and its clone, born Feb. 19, share the same genetics.)

"You're going to hit me again,

aren't you."

REUTERS/Jason Reed

This could be problematic.

Hominids are more comfortable in trees.

AP/CP, Tom Hanson

Where's his leash?

Oh, Ralphie.

You should have said they had Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifles. Much more dangerous than old aluminum tubes.

Hadley was particularly concerned that the public might learn of a classified one-page summary of a National Intelligence Estimate, specifically written for Bush in October 2002. The summary said that although "most agencies judge" that the aluminum tubes were "related to a uranium enrichment effort," the State Department's Bureau of Intelligence and Research and the Energy Department's intelligence branch "believe that the tubes more likely are intended for conventional weapons."


(full story here)

"This is a holy site!" (updated)

REUTERS/Jason Reed

"Not some backdrop for a gringo cabron photo shoot!"

The gods are angry.

What happens in Vegas

stays in Vegas?

The HELL? "Divine Strake"?

The U.S. military plans to detonate a 700 ton explosive charge in a test called “Divine Strake” that will send a mushroom cloud over Las Vegas, a senior defense official said March 30.

. . .

He said the Russians have been notified of the test, which is scheduled for the first week of June at the Nevada test range.

”We’re also making sure that Las Vegas understands,” Tegnelia said.

Well, that's mighty nice of 'em.

"Vas ist das?

Zis vas supposed to be ein Riefenstahl retrospective!"

REUTERS/Chris Helgren

Pope Benedict XVI watches the debut of a film on the life of the late Pope John Paul II.

Pity the audience member who has to sit behind the throne.

But she's so vivacious!

Nobody likes Condi.

Condiwatch, U.K.


(hat tip Moonbotica)

When you have sitting SCOTUS Justices

telling you in Italian, in church, to "take it up the ass,"

can a SCOTUS reality TV show be far behind?


Spring Break...2 fer 1 margaritas..."

AFP/Omar Torres

Nice to wake up to good news.

Journalist Jill Carroll released.

American reporter Jill Carroll was set free Thursday, police said, nearly three months after she was kidnapped in a bloody ambush that killed her translator. Her editor said she was "fine."

Welcome home, Jill.

AP/Christian Science Monitor, Delphine Minoui

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Um, Mr. Kaloogian?

You replaced the fake Baghdad picture with this shot, which appears to be taken from up on high:

And now, it seems, TelltaleHeart AA over at Eschaton stumbled across this page. Note the photo in the lower left hand corner.

Mr. Kaloogian, are you lying again?

UPDATE: Someone has amended the page, dating and IDing the photos. I can only assume "Not 12/04/05 - Kaloogian" means that his people actually did take the shot.

Reserving judgment.

Bush to Iraqis:

Time to Get a Government.

AFP/Jim Watson

Iraqis to Bush: Time to get a life. Oh, and get the fuck out of our country.

AP/Samir Mizban

The Pentagon rolls out the prototypes

for its new body armor. Tuxedos are optional.

AP/Shizuo Kambayashi

Jet Jaguar!

"Ah'm seein' . . . freedom . . .

I got telepathetic powers."


For once, the Clenis is not to blame. Instead, Bush faults Saddam for the Iraqi insurgency.

Aaah, nice.

Dean of the WH press corps Helen Thomas showered with roses.

That oughta piss off the Boy King.

REUTERS/Larry Downing

(hat tip QuentinCompson)

Always dress to emphasize

your best features.

NB: I do not know this person. But this is why the internets will cause the downfall of civilization as we know it.

"And don't bring me one of them

'English tea' sammiches. I want a Dagwood, this high. NOW!"

AP/Dennis Cook

Somebody's not keeping

her eye on the ball. How could she let this happen?!

Teen charged with threats against the Preznit.

"OFF with his head!"

Kaloogian, take me away!

So you all know by now that there's this rabid, pro-war doofus running for the disgraced Randall "Dukestir" Cunningham's seat in California. His name is Howard Kaloogian, and he's furious that the media only shows bad things happening in Iraq. In an incredibly amateur attempt to snow his potential electorate, he posted this picture on his website (which is currently laboring under the strain of so much traffic):

The caption accompanying the photo reads:

We took this photo of dowtown Baghdad while we were in Iraq. Iraq (including Baghdad) is much more calm and stable than what many people believe it to be. But, each day the news media finds any violence occurring in the country and screams and shouts about it - in part because many journalists are opposed to the U.S. effort to fight terrorism.

There's one problem: that's not Baghdad. It's someplace in Turkey.

Why do Republicans lie to America?

UPDATE: The good folks at dkos confirm that this is indeed the lovely town of Bakirkoy, Turkey.

UPDATE II: Kaloogian is now saying it's his staff's fault. He wasn't aware of the problem.

So much for personal responsibility.

A moment of Zen.

REUTERS/Ali Jarekji

(The sun is reflected on a flower as the moon partially blocks it, forming a crescent, during a partial eclipse seen from the Jordanian capital of Amman, March 29, 2006).

Oh, snap!

From the New York Times:

Mr. Bolten has been giving the president advice for years, and the result has been a deficit estimated at $371 billion. Perhaps he'll come up with a better approach in his new job. We've heard that under Mr. Card's watch, aides wound up showing Mr. Bush videos of TV news coverage of Hurricane Katrina to convince their boss that it really was a problem. Maybe Mr. Bolten can start the next budget discussion with some audiovisual aids — like an abacus.

"Mr. Bush, one of my last recommendations

as Chief of Staff: stop with the 'hanging brains'."

AP/Ron Edmonds

(google "hanging brains," but don't do it at work, 'kay?)

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Is it any fucking wonder WHY?

Poll: Americans see, hear more profanity.

Nearly three-quarters of Americans questioned last week - 74 percent - said they encounter profanity in public frequently or occasionally, according to an Associated Press-Ipsos poll. Two-thirds said they think people swear more than they did 20 years ago. And as for, well, the gold standard of foul words, a healthy 64 percent said they use the F-word - ranging from several times a day (8 percent) to a few times a year (15 percent).

Let's recap. We've got:

The Simple Son

AFP/Mandel Ngan

The War Profiteer

AP/Charles Dharapak

The Klingon Ambassador

AFP/Paul J.Richards

The Hyena with Tourette's

REUTERS/Yuri Gripas

The Cedar-Lined Closet Club, a/k/a The 7.5 Chins

AP/Charles Dharapak

Patrick Swayze and his size 17EEEs

AP/Luis Romero

The Walrus of Plato's Retreat

AP/David Karp

...And the rest,

who have saddled us not just with an insurmountable trade deficit, attempted murder of the middle class, and the unholy merging of Church and State, but also this:

And butter's not supposed to melt in my mouth. Riiiiiiight. To the lowest depths of Hell for each and every one of these goddamned motherfuckers, and the compliant media whores who have enabled them.

"You are not the boss of me!"

AP/Manuel Balce Ceneta

"And fuck you, I'm not recusing myself."

"Where are my leeches?!

This patient needs to be bled!"

More Bobo's World. Tennessee State. Rep. Debra Maggart, Idiot Extraordinaire.

Rep. Debra Maggart, R-Hendersonville, said she still believes homosexual couples should not be allowed to adopt children. In fact, in addition to e-mail correspondence with a master’s student at Vanderbilt publicized recently, in which she said as much, she has also said homosexual couples may molest the children they adopt.

I'm sure that after Ms. Maggot is bombarded with email and phone calls, she will assert that her words were taken out of context.

Rep. Debra Maggart
Work Phone: (615) 868-4008
Fax: (615) 868-4445