Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Wait, THAT'S the "Eye of Mordor"

Santorum was going on about? I thought it was bigger than that.

AP/Ron Edmonds

"Poor dears. You only have one day

where you get to wear fabulous costumes?"

"Um...what are you

dressed up as, mister?"


"No, you can't have my candy."

"Help me."

Where the fuck is his Polident?


In case you're interested,

I'll be doing my brief radio call-in gig at WUDR around 4:30ish, EST. My partner in really tasteless calendar art, Dr. Atta J. Turk will be on subsequent thereto.

You can stream the show here. Scroll down a bit, past the head and the dog in the shirt.


"Stuff happens."

Poor Senator Macacawitz.

Senator George Allen, (R) made a campaign stop in Charlottesville Tuesday morning and it was met with controversy.

As Senator Allen was exiting a ballroom, coming to talk to the media, a protestor started yelling and asking, "Why did you spit on your first wife?". He wasn't able to get near the senator as he was tackled by three men wearing Allen stickers, presumed to be staffers. He was pushed and manhandled and ended up on the floor, near windows at the Omni.

Senator Allen went back into a conference room and after the man was removed from the building, we were able to talk to Allen and asked him what he thought of the incident. He responded saying stuff like that happens.

Atrios has the video.

Laura Bush, Compassionbot.

In an interview on C-Span, First Lady Laura Bush was asked about Michael J Fox’s advocacy for candidates who support embryonic stem cell research. Mrs. Bush responded that it was wrong for Fox and others to suggest that increased support for embryonic stem cell research could lead to cures for Alzheimer’s and other diseases.

She concluded with a thinly veiled critique of Fox: “It’s always easy to manipulate people’s feelings, especially when you are talking about diseases that are so difficult.”

Unlike your husband, who only manipulates peoples' fears for his own political gain.

Watch her gyros spin here.

"What on earth makes you think

I'm enjoying this in the slightest?"

REUTERS/Jason Reed

My jack o' lantern.

And then they pulled his finger.

[original photo: AFP/Tim Sloan]

"I got yer treat right here, baby!"

AFP/Tim Sloan

The Hessian Rides Again.


Happy Halloween!

AP/Gene J. Puskar

Monday, October 30, 2006

For those about to ROCK!

Somebody had way too much time on their hands.

With many thanks to Stu.

Well, he's certainly hellbent on

damaging the psyche of the next generation.


Subtlety has never been Cheney's forte.

But then again, Dick, you never know who might have made copies. Hmmm.

Shredding Truck seen heading to Naval Observatory.

Because your lives would all be terribly

unfulfilled if attaturk and I didn't let you see the last two months of the 2007 G.O.P. Character Counts Calendar...

A May-December romance.

I have been chided that this should be accompanied by a "NSFW" label. (Not Safe For Work, for the uninitiated)

Note, please: Several of the images we've provided may necessarily make it into the final cut for the calendar itself, most notably, May. Far be it for either one of us to drive away our readership!

Sometimes, even WE cross the line.

"Mmmm...cannon fodder...."

Another Democrat in the making.


Hey, Preznit Methmouth.

Raise your hand ONLY if you're sure.


Note that for all these eleventh-hour campaign stops, Preznit Giv Me Turkee now removes his jacket and rolls up his sleeves. I'm sure some overpaid consultant thought it would appeal to those "swing" voters to see their Preznit in shirtsleeves. Campaignin's hard work, hard work I tell ya.

Yup. The Party of Morality and Ethics.

Two former House committee investigators who were examining Capitol Hill security upgrades said a senior aide to Speaker J. Dennis Hastert hindered their efforts before they were abruptly ordered to stop their probe last year.

I can only imagine what kind of shit they were about to uncover in Denny's office.

"Gotta keep one step ahead."

AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast

more here.

Very nice, Ahnuld.

You can take the Governator out of the gym...

AP/Ric Francis

Dude, the guy's house burned down to the ground. A little decorum?

Preznit FUBAR

The American military has not properly tracked hundreds of thousands of weapons intended for Iraqi security forces and has failed to provide spare parts, maintenance personnel or even repair manuals for most of the weapons given to the Iraqis, a federal report released Sunday has concluded.

You know, war isn't improvisational theater, you incompetent idiots. Yes, you have to be able to shift your "tactics", but those tactics are usually based on a fucking plan! You don't waltz into a notoriously fragmented country, destroy the infrastructure, remove the only thing holding the country together, and waltz out again.

The Bush Administration, itching for a reason to invade Iraq and remove Saddam, took advantage of a horrible national tragedy and, with utter disregard for the sage warnings of career military men and geopolitical history, rushed into a war in the Middle East without planning for (a) occupation; or (b) an exit. Yeah, that's some plan.

Before Bush was "elected" in 2000, I argued with my Republican-leaning friends that this man could not be trusted with the nation's health. His incompetence shone through in every endeavor he attempted; each and every time, somebody bailed his sorry ass out because he got in way over his head.

And now it's not just a baseball team or failed oil company that is suffering.

More here.

Ken Mehlman watches enviously

as homosexual couples celebrate in New Jersey.

AP/CBS, Face the Nation, Karin Cooper

"Hey! I ordered

the tuna carpaccio!"

AP/Wilfredo Lee

Sunday, October 29, 2006

I know you've been dying to know...

what March and April might look like in the 2007 G.O.P. "Character Counts" calendar.

Well, be thankful Denny's not all trussed up in this sneak peek, aiiight?




But then what would all those Republican

politicians watch on the DL while their wives think they're working on that latest carpentry project?

When George Bush entered the Oval Office in 2001 he accused his predecessor Bill Clinton of being “soft on porn” and vowed to crack down on an industry that was generating $9.8 billion (£5.2 billion) a year. But anti-porn campaigners in Bush’s own party say that since then the president has been distracted by the war on terror and has done little.

More here.

Sunday morning trippiness.

Via Crooked Timber, the Whitney Music Box, a study of mesmerizing colors and sounds. Three minutes of trippy fun.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Man, BushCo. projects more than

the freakin' AMC 25 multiplex on 42nd Street:

In the debate about the reliability of electronic voting technology, the South Florida parent company of one of the nation's leading suppliers of touch-screen voting machines is drawing special scrutiny from the U.S. government.

Federal officials are investigating whether Smartmatic, owner of Oakland, Calif.-based Sequoia Voting Systems, is secretly controlled by Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez, according to two people familiar with the probe.

Concerns about Smartmatic are keen on the eve of the Nov. 7 election, given fears that someone with unauthorized access to the electronic system could create electoral chaos. Some critics believe that if the Venezuelan government is involved, Smartmatic could be a ''Trojan horse'' designed to advance Chavez's anti-American agenda.

And Diebold is a fucking nonpartisan philanthropic organization? Spare me.

More shit here.

But . . . he was a cheerleader, too!

REUTERS/Jason Reed

Blogger has been down since

9:30 EDT or so this a.m.

What, Google can't afford to pay its programmers?

Fuck you, you fuckin' fucks.

Ooooh, look at the pretty colors!


"So, like, you're telling me there's a universe in my thumbnail?"

Friday, October 27, 2006

File under: Say It Ain't So!

Halliburton, flouting governmental regulations?! Why, I never!

WASHINGTON - The Halliburton subsidiary that provides food, shelter and other logistics to U.S. troops in Iraq and Afghanistan exploited federal regulations to hide details on its contract performance, according to a report released Friday.

The Iraq reconstruction audits have routinely found significant problems with contracting and rebuilding in the country, ranging from high costs for security and overhead to alleged fraud and lack of oversight.

Sen. Byron Dorgan (news, bio, voting record) of North Dakota, chairman of the Democratic Policy Committee, said that in 13 oversight hearings on the war in Iraq the committee found more than $1 billion in waste, fraud, abuse and what it called "shoddy work" by contractors.

"I'm convinced that this is the most significant waste, fraud and abuse in the history of this country," Dorgan said.

"So, you guys need any $5,000 toilets?"

AP/Orlin Wagner

more criminality here.

What the HEY?

Via Commandante Agi, a story about a toddler who got trapped in a vending machine.


Because he was lured into the machine by Evil Incarnate.

That's right, the homosexual sea creature known as . . . . .


Now, now. He was just helping the man

reinvest his Social Security savings.

TORRINGTON, Conn. -- Police were looking for a robber whose disguise was a rubber Halloween mask of president George W. Bush.

Charles Gardner told police he was on the front steps of his home Wednesday when the robber with a gun demanded cash.

Police said the robber in the Bush mask, who also used a bad southern accent, put the gun barrel to Gardner's temple and demanded money.

Gardner said he had just been to the bank to cash his $1,000 Social Security check when he was robbed.

The robber made off with the cash and fled in an older model white car.

I love when life imitates life.

via WFSB.

"Standing room tickets for cricket?

This is a five-day test!"

Photos I wish I had taken.

I like to think of us as

serials killers.

"Character Counts: The Almost Final Frontier."

I'm telling you - this is gonna be the hottest thing next year!

Oh, they're not even trying anymore.

WASHINGTON (AP) - The White House said Friday that Vice President Dick Cheney was not talking about a torture technique known as "water boarding" when he said dunking terrorism suspects in water during questioning was a "no-brainer."

In an interview Tuesday with WDAY of Fargo, N.D., Cheney was asked if "a dunk in water is a no-brainer if it can save lives."

The administration has repeatedly refused to say which techniques they believe are permitted under the new law. Asked to define a dunk in water, Snow said, "It's a dunk in the water."

"I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!"

AP/Al Behrman

Waterboarding. It's a fucking tea party.

More lameass semantics game playing here.

I dunno.

I was getting kinda used to the idea of jury duty. [heavy sigh] Back to the grind.

BTW, I finished John Dean's "Conservatives Without Conscience" and all I can say is:

"I told you so."

And now for something completely different: funny cat video.

[h/t Kim A.]

And then the Laurabot crushed

the pumpkin with her bare hands.

AP/Darron Cummings

I'd be pretty fuckin' happy, too, if I had a Costco-sized Xanax container like that.

Why does God hate women?

Don't answer that; I already know.

Rorschach at No Capital points us to this charming story:

Nicaragua last night voted to outlaw all forms of abortion, including operations to save a pregnant woman's life, after a campaign by the Catholic church.

The main political parties supported a bill establishing jail sentences of six to 30 years for women who terminate their pregnancies and doctors who perform the procedure.

The proposal was fast-tracked through parliament in the run-up to a presidential election next month, prompting accusations that it was an opportunistic vote-grabbing ploy.

Hmm. Looks like Nicaragua is taking its cues from its fat, hulking neighbor to the north.

More of this atrocity here.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

"Don't muss my hair."

AP/Andrew Medichini

Very few people know that the beanie is his power source.

Macabre . . . yet cheerfully optimistic!

Courtesy a DR reader... just in time for Halloween!

"700 miles of fence.

We kin hire illegals to paint it!"

REUTERS/Jason Reed

UPDATE: As Margie in Austin points out in comments, this bill merely authorizes the fence to be built. It doesn't authorize payment for the fence.

The “Secure Fence Act” has everything to do with motivating the right-wing base, and nothing to do with securing America’s borders or passing comprehensive immigration reform.

See Think Progress for more details.

Bush? Pull out? We should be so lucky.

“If we can’t win, I’ll pull us out,” the president said.” “If I didn’t think it was noble and just and we can win, we’re gone. I can’t — I’m not going to keep those kids in there and have to deal with their loved ones. I can’t cover it up when I meet with a family who’s lost a child. I cry, I weep, I hug. And I’ve got to be able to look them in the eye and say, we’re going to win. I have to be able to do that. And I’m not a good faker.

“And so what I’m telling you is — we’ll win this.”

No, you're not a good faker at all. Your psychosis is the real dea.

AP/Ron Edmonds

Why was he meeting with conservative journalists, anyway?

How much "growth" can a man make,

after spending years with a noose prominently displayed in his law office?

In February 2004, Sen. George Allen was on a bus taking him from Birmingham to Selma, Ala. On a video screen in front of him was "Eyes on the Prize," the acclaimed documentary chronicling the civil rights movement.

Allen "knew very little" about the history of that struggle, according to his seatmate, Paul Gillis, former president of the Virginia NAACP.

But "macaca" raises a question: Has Allen really evolved, or did his true nature slip into public view?

Allen remains an opponent of affirmative action. In 2005, the NAACP said he supported legislation deemed to be in its interest 15 percent of the time.

more here.

Send positive vibes, please,

to NTodd. His wonderful dog, Kayla, whom I have had the great pleasure to meet, has gone missing.

She's tough; she spent a year living on the streets. But I know that anxiety all too well, having a family that invests their hearts in their pets.

Come home, Kayla. Your dad is worried about you.

UPDATE: YAAY! She's home!!!

(unfortunately, I'm still on jury duty)

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

NOW would you pay $9.95?

The 2007 G.O.P. "Character Counts" Calendar.

Because your brain hasn't exploded yet.

What's Japanese for

"tight-assed, incompetent bitch roll"?

AFP/Jung Yeon-Je

Actually, with the stick that's up her ass, she's more like "Yucky Tory."

Way to go, New Jersey!

The Court stopped short of fully approving same-sex marriage but gave lawmakers six months to act. The legislature must grant either civil unions or marriage rights to same-sex couples.

The majority opinion states "that denying the rights and benefits to committed same-sex couples that are statutorily given to their heterosexual counterparts violates the equal protection guarantee of Article I, Paragraph 1 of the New Jersey Constitution."

More "goddamned activist judges'" language here.

Jury pool, day 1.

Of course they wait until 3 this afternoon to call a group of us up for jury selection.

The rest of the day was spent trying to focus on "Conservatives Without Conscience", which proved exceedingly difficult, what with the chatty cathy who talked nonstop to the poor woman she had glommed onto. And I wouldn't have minded if she had been either talking quietly or talking really, really loudly; instead, she droned on in that mid-level range that was as distracting as a fly circling your head.

But the hundred or so people in the jury pool room now know so much more about her than we had originally cared to.

More of the same tomorrow.

[too tired to bang forehead on desk]

P.S. To my next-door neighbor, if you're reading this: next time you find yourself locked out of the building at 4:15 in the morning, buzz your goddamned roommate!

Overheard on NPR's Morning Edition:

Steve Inskeep: "You'd recommend partition [for Iraq]?

Rick Santorum: "Partition means different things to different people."

Partition, as defined by Rick Santorum:

Partition, as defined by reality:

Vive la resistance!

Likening the times to the late 1930s as Nazi Germany was rising to power, Sen. Rick Santorum said last night that if he loses his re-election bid, it could set the stage for terrorism to become more of a threat than the Nazis ever were.

"If we are not successful here and things don't go right in the election, there's a good chance that the course of our country could change," he said. "We are in the equivalent of the late 1930s, and this election will decide whether we are going to continue to appease or whether we will stand and fight while we have a chance to win without devastating consequences.

"And you here in Pennsylvania — you here in this room — will have a huge role to play as to what happens."

I'm not really that interested in his moveable parts.

more delusional double-speak here.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Because we can't leave well enough alone.

But wait, there's more! Take another visit to the 2007 GOP "Character Counts" Calendar!


Portable and stackable!

Real good at "talk the talk,"

those Republicans. "Walking the walk" seems to give them a bit of trouble.

Via Bob Geiger, the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America took a look at 324 legislative votes in the last five years which affected American troops and veterans. Legislative proposals included veterans' benefits, healthcare, and medical research dedicated towards injured soldiers (head injuries, etc.) Based on these votes, IAVA calculated which senators and congressmen had a history of supporting the troops, and which didn't, and graded them on a curve.

See the very revealing chart here.

No more flag-waving, no more magnetic ribbons, no more hiding behind the pro-military rhetoric.

Bush sets out to prove that

his own terror rhetoric can withstand manual manipulation.

AFP/Jim Watson

He fails. Miserably. And all over the donors in the front row.

It's no longer "Stay the Course."

Because changing your slogan changes the outcome of the war.

But the White House is cutting and running from "stay the course." A phrase meant to connote steely resolve instead has become a symbol for being out of touch and rigid in the face of a war that seems to grow worse by the week, Republican strategists say. Democrats have now turned "stay the course" into an attack line in campaign commercials, and the Bush team is busy explaining that "stay the course" does not actually mean stay the course.

Frankly, I didn't think "adapt to win" had a snowball's chance, either.

more Tommy Flanaganisms here.

I think he meant

"teh Google."

HOST: I’m curious, have you ever googled anybody? Do you use Google?

BUSH: Occasionally. One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps. It’s very interesting to see — I’ve forgot the name of the program — but you get the satellite, and you can — like, I kinda like to look at the ranch. It remind me of where I wanna be sometimes.

watch the doofus here.

A heads up.

I've been called for jury duty starting tomorrow, so posting will be lighter than usual.

In the event you're wondering where I am, and all that.

Monday, October 23, 2006

A Rising Hegemon-After Dark Production.

Everyone's going to want one: The 2007 G.O.P. "Character Counts" Calendar!

Check out the free preview!

Bush gets bored playing with

his life-sized toy soldiers. It must be nap time.

AP/Gerald Herbert

"C'mon, Lump, tag me!

I can take 'er!"

REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

Well, that explains the trenchcoat.

ccording to a political gossip column in U.S. News & World Report magazine, convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff has been so "chatty" that he has been given his own desk."

"Jack Abramoff, the lobbying scandal figure, has become such a chatty rat that probe insiders say he's been given a desk to work at in the FBI," Paul Bedard writes in the Washington Whispers column.

"Secret . . . AAAAAgent man!"
secret agent man

more here.

"Camo teddy, big deal," the President thought.

"You should see the special teddy bear Jenna brought me back from Paraguay."

teddy bear
AFP/Tim Sloan

[h/t Pony Boy]

Republicans make my brain hurt

reeeeal bad.

On CBS this morning, White House Counselor Dan Bartlett claimed that the administration has “never” had “a stay-the-course strategy.”

just watch it here.

I want to go back to bed.

Rick Santorum, John Cornyn and

Neil Horsley find themselves strangely aroused.

REUTERS/Gleb Garanich

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Yet another instance of

"Glass House Syndrome":

MOSCOW, Oct. 21 — Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice criticized shrinking Russian press freedoms. . . when she arrived here Saturday to discuss the North Korean nuclear crisis.

In a symbolic decision that no doubt will be scrutinized by the Kremlin leadership, Ms. Rice invited senior editors of Novaya Gazeta, a leading independent journal, to a meeting at her hotel. The session, which included the son of the assassinated journalist Anna Politkovskaya, came just before she headed into official government meetings.

Earlier, Ms. Rice said that the future of a free Russian press and electronic media “is a major concern” of the United States government.

“There is still an independent print press,” she said. “Unfortunately, there is not much left of independent television in Russia.”

"Oooh, a wed wose. How womantic."


More here.

Snarkoleptics unite!

Sunday snark now available.

Paging Ralph Waldo Emerson...

Ralph Waldo Emerson to the hobgoblin courtesy phone please...

During an interview today on ABC’s This Week, President Bush tried to distance himself from what has been his core strategy in Iraq for the last three years. George Stephanopoulos asked about James Baker’s plan to develop a strategy for Iraq that is “between ’stay the course’ and ‘cut and run.’”

Bush responded, ‘We’ve never been stay the course, George!’

QUOI?! It's President Tommy Flanagan!

REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst

Watch the video here.

"Stupid? Arrogant? MOI?"

AFP/Mandel Ngan

BAGHDAD, Iraq - A senior U.S. diplomat said the United States had shown "arrogance" and "stupidity" in Iraq but was now ready to talk with any group except Al-Qaida in Iraq to facilitate national reconciliation.

"We tried to do our best but I think there is much room for criticism because, undoubtedly, there was arrogance and there was stupidity from the United States in Iraq," he said.

"We are open to dialogue because we all know that, at the end of the day, the solution to the hell and the killings in Iraq is linked to an effective Iraqi national reconciliation," he said, speaking in Arabic from Washington. "The Iraqi government is convinced of this."

More worm-turning here.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

I'm so confused.

I thought Bush said he wasn't going to set a timetable for Iraq. Ever.

WASHINGTON, Oct. 21 — The Bush administration is drafting a timetable for the Iraqi government to address sectarian divisions and assume a larger role in securing the country, senior American officials said.

Details of the blueprint, which is to be presented to Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki before the end of the year and would be carried out over the next year and beyond, are still being devised. But the officials said that for the first time Iraq was likely to be asked to agree to a schedule of specific milestones, like disarming sectarian militias, and to a broad set of other political, economic and military benchmarks intended to stabilize the country.

More doublespeak here.

Ooh, when do they get their

"Identifying Enemy Combatants in the Left Blogosphere" badges?

LOS ANGELES (AP) - A Boy Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, etc., etc. He is also respectful of copyrights. Boy Scouts in the Los Angeles area will now be able to earn an activity patch for learning about the evils of downloading pirated movies and music.

The patch shows a film reel, a music CD and the international copyright symbol, a "C" enclosed in a circle.

more here.

"This teebee show's borin'."

"That's the Vice President, sir."


Talk about yer boob tube.

Friday, October 20, 2006

"Nah, I'd rather go it alone

than take advice."

REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

Face it. He lost the wire services photographers a long time ago.

Everything Zen.

Simply . . . devastating.

a most powerful, disturbing, and heart-wrenching advertisement for Clair McCaskill with Michael J. Fox, Parkinson's sufferer.

Because it's all they have left.


GOP Aims to Scare Up Big Voter Turnout

With top Republican strategists now privately predicting substantial House losses, President Bush and top GOP officials plan to spend the final days of the 2006 campaign attempting to rally partisans and limit conservative defections with dire warnings about the consequences of a Democratic Congress.

Amid predictions that demoralized conservative voters might sit out the election, Bush and other senior Republicans will escalate charges that Democrats will raise taxes, weaken national security and liberalize social policies.


[original photo: REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque]

More here.