Monday, November 20, 2006

Update yer blogrolls...

I know we all love and hell-o-scan so much, but I was getting tired of this platform's instability, the outages, the "we're updating the servers and it'll work perfectly from here on out" crapola. I have moved to what I think is a quieter neighborhood, with lovely, soothing shades of the Caribbean to counter the hideousness of the people running this Administration.

Also, it's just easier to say now.

Henceforth, you may find the usual snarkage at:

Sunday, November 19, 2006

"Man, I shoulda come here

35 years ago! What a party town!"

AP/Charles Dharapak

Le snark, c'est chic.

Everybody dance now!

Shake yer booty, too.

Bush can't hide his excitement

at getting to wear a dress in public.


Saturday, November 18, 2006

"Where's that stream of water . . .

oh, Christ, that's not water!"

REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

"I must say, Janette.

You're making me look stylish."

AP/Aaron Favila

Looks like a photo shoot for 1950's Values fashion magazine.

"Wait, it says here that this Amurkan

soldier had to serve because some guy named 'Bush' went AWOL!"

REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

"Ah miss li'l Junichiro

and his Elvis glasses."

AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

Friday, November 17, 2006

Ah yes. Good to see the Elizabethan ruff

is making a comeback.

AP/Reinhard Krause

Seriously. She made the Top 10 Best Dressed list in Vanity Fair? WTF?

"Get thee behind me, Satan.

Mustn't . . . sip . . . want. . . drink . . . so bad . . . "

REUTERS/Reinhard Krause

Wearing the wallpaper from a

bargain basement Vietnamese brothel, Laura represents.

AP/How Hwee Young

[h/t Pony Boy]

Anne Telnaes hits it outta the park.

[h/t reader queek]

"Who you callin' a 'ho'?"

AP/Charles Dharapak

"Did someone say 'Thai stick'?"

AP/Aaron Favila

We're takin' it to the streets.

Want to give people enough time to adjust, doncha know. update your bookmarks - as of Monday, I'll be working out of new digs:

cool, huh? Same snark, different colors.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

"Hah hah hah, 'dim son'!

Wait . . . I don't get it."

AP/Charles Dharapak

Ssshhh.... I'm over at Typepad, trying to figure out how to transfer all this stuff over there. Will alert you as soon as the transition is complete.

Laura gets in touch with

her inner Lionel Hampton, while George is relegated to the Fisher Price toy xylophone.

White House/Paul Morse

"Ah'm not gonna try to walk into

these buildings, Ah'm not, Ah'm not..."

AP/Gerald Herbert

Fool him once...won't get fooled again.

The crowd reacts to

another Bush punchline.

AP/Gerald Herbert

Meanwhile, it looks like that furrrn food doesn't agree with Laura. Maybe wearing white wasn't such a good idea. Oh, and someone should point out to her that white, in Asia, equals death.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Somewhere inside the Beltway...

"If the wall is breached, Helm's Deep will fall."

"That idiot just asked me

to put up Laura while he goes to Hanoi for the 'sucky sucky'."

AP/ITAR-TASS, Dmitry Astakhov, Presidential Press Service

Another notch in the WH Protocol Office's belt.

Today, President Bush visits Vietnam for the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit, “looking to burnish his foreign-policy credentials.” He’s off to a miserable start.

Yesterday, the White House website featured a graphic with the flags of the three countries he’s visiting on his trip — Singapore, Vietnam, and Indonesia. One problem: instead of displaying the Vietnamese flag, the White House graphic featured the old flag of South Vietnam. That flag hasn’t been the official flag of Vietnam since South Vietnam surrendered to North Vietnam in 1975.

Is there an IQ ceiling that White House protocol employees have to fall under to get the job? Flying the Canadian flag upside down, Bush's manhandling the Chinese president, what's next? Serving beef when P.M. Singh comes to visit?

More here.

"The whole trip, it's all I heard.

'Your father's bailing you out again?' I mean, damn."

AP/ITAR-TASS, Dmitry Astakhov, Presidential Press Service

"2006: A Laced Odyssey"

Thank god Stanley Kubrick's not here to see this.

REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

Let's see - we've got the monkey (George), we've got the monolith (Putin), and we've got HAL (Laura). I guess that makes Mrs. Putin "Dave."

Angela Merkel has a flashback

to the G8 Summit.

AP/Eckehard Schulz

Bush, however, is prepared.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Hey, Rudy.

Nah gah happen.

Giuliani's campaign team said the committee was simply an opening move designed to keep his options open, with a final decision still to come.

``This filing affords him the opportunity to raise money and put together an organization to assist him in making his decision,'' Giuliani adviser Anthony Carbonetti said.

AP/CP, Jason Scott

Your twice-divorced, pro-choice Republican act ain't gonna pack the houses in Peoria.

More here.

Hey, 41. Bite me on Teh Google.

Last night on Fox News, former President George H.W. Bush said the current political climate has “gotten so adversarial that it’s ugly.” Asked to offer an explanation for why there is this “incivility,” Bush pinned the blame on bloggers. “It’s probably a little worse now given electronic media and the bloggers and all these kinds of things,” he said.

Yeah, right, George. Your idiot son calling everyone who disagrees with him a "traitor" or "terrorist supporter" contributes nothing but the wafting of rose petals to the debate. Karl Rove's and Ken Mehlman's smear campaigns and swiftboating lend courtliness and a "sunny nobility" to the political discourse.

Fuck you, George. And that beast you spawned with.

Watch here.

Outside the principal's office.

Or marriage counselor's. Your pick.

REUTERS/Larry Downing

Chickens. Roosting.

A gilded turd?

No, it's a "1.5kg Alba white truffle, sold to a Hong Kong businessman for a record-breaking $160,000."

That's right. Somebody just paid $160K for a fungus. And surprisingly, Halliburton was not involved in the sale.

Le Tuesday. Le radio.

Yah, that'll be me later on (around 4:30) or so.

Listen here. Maybe.

Make that 4:20 EST.

"You're next."

AP/Gerald Herbert

Can YOU spot the tweaker?

Crystal meth. For that healthy smile.

AP/Pablo Martinez Monsivais

REUTERS/Larry Downing

"So, I can go back to Crawford now, right?"

White House

Wow, Stephen Hadley's lookin' real comfortable around the Old Guard.

Monday, November 13, 2006

"Just what I thought.

Carburetor's clogged."

An open letter to the people of Connecticut.

You've been pwn3d.

WASHINGTON -- Senator Joseph I. Lieberman of Connecticut said yesterday that he will caucus with Senate Democrats in the new Congress, but he would not rule out switching to the Republican caucus if he starts to feel uncomfortable among Democrats.

Lieberman, a Democrat who won reelection as an independent, also said he wants to be called an Independent Democrat.

"I want to be called 'Loretta'."

More here.

"No, you ain't my brutha, either!"

REUTERS/Jason Reed

Ouch! That's gonna leave a mark.

Especially given the Chimperor's Oedipal complex.

"Stoopit Democratic subpoena powers..."

AP/Pablo Martinez Monsivais

31%, beeyotch!

AP/Pablo Martinez Monsivais

President Bush’s job approval rating has fallen to just 31 percent, according to the new NEWSWEEK Poll. Bill Clinton’s lowest rating during his presidency was 36 percent; Bush’s father’s was 29 percent, and Ronald Reagan’s was 35 percent. Jimmy Carter’s and Richard Nixon’s lows were 28 and 23 percent, respectively. (Just 24 approve of outgoing Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld’s job performance, and 31 percent approve of Vice President Dick Cheney’s.)

Hah hah!

[/Nelson Muntz]

more sordid details here.

"Jesus, why does any paper

pay Jonah Goldberg to write this crap?"

You wish, George, you wish.

At today's groundbreaking ceremony for the Martin Luther King, Jr. memorial:

This project has been over a decade in the making, and I thank those who have worked to bring about this day. I particularly want to thank my predecessor, the man who signed the legislation to create this memorial, President Bill Clinton. (Applause.) It sounds like to me they haven't forgotten you yet. (Laughter.) He's become, as you know, my fourth brother. (Laughter.)


full text of speech here.

Wait, I thought Laura was

the wax figure in the White House.

President Bush's wax likeness is taking a thumpin' these days at Madame Tussaud's celebrity waxworks in Las Vegas.

Bush's head suffered about $25,000 in damages when a Madame Tussaud's visitor attacked it the day before last week's elections.

more here.

[h/t Eschaton reader jdw]

Wow. When Novakula calls you

unhinged, then you are unhinged!

In private conversation, Republican members of Congress blame Majority Leader John Boehner and Majority Whip Roy Blunt in no small part for their midterm election debacle. Yet either Boehner, Blunt or both are expected to be returned to their leadership posts Friday. For good reason, the GOP often is called "the stupid party."

. . .
That reluctance is typified by Rep. Eric Cantor, a 43-year-old third-term congressman from Richmond who has been his party's chief deputy whip for four years since being appointed by Blunt after only two years in the House. His voting record is solidly conservative, and he belongs to the conservative Republican Study Committee (RSC). At the same time, Cantor is well regarded in all sectors of the party, and members see him as the principled kind of rising politician that Republicans desperately need.

But Cantor is not seizing this post-election moment to seek an elected leadership position. On the contrary, he has been supporting Blunt for reelection as whip out of loyalty to his mentor and patron. Bright and able though he is, Cantor has drunk the Kool-Aid in viewing the Republican Party as a private club where personal loyalties must transcend all else.

More here.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

"Thanks, Dick, but we'll pass.

He's all yours."

REUTERS/Larry Downing

Post-electoral snark

now available at your local polling station.

Good thing Bush doesn't pay attention

to "focus groups":

An MSNBC online poll shows that the overwhelming majority of its participating voters believe President Bush should be impeached.

The poll asked the question, "Do you believe President Bush's actions justify impeachment?" Four choices were presented:

• "Yes, between the secret spying, the deceptions leading to war and more, there is plenty to justify putting him on trial."

• "No, like any president, he has made a few missteps, but nothing approaching 'high crimes and misdemeanors.'"

• "No, the man has done absolutely nothing wrong. Impeachment would just be a political lynching."

• "I don't know."

Of nearly 360,000 people who had voted in the "unscientific" poll by 9:30PM Eastern on Friday evening, 87 percent responded "Yes."

"Well, fuck me."

AFP/Nicholas Kamm

more here.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Little pink boxes for you an' me.

Lovely. The government, according to Feministing's Jessica, is funding those purity balls.

Ain't this America.

On this Veteran's Day,

Let us honor those who have fought,

REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

not those who haven't.

REUTERS/Yuri Gripas

"Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

Whacha gonna do when they come for you..."

REUTERS/Yuri Gripas

Friday, November 10, 2006

He's really got to stop lifting the text

for his speeches from the Preznit fanfic his mom sends him.

“Americans will speak of the battles like Fallujah with the same awe and reverence that we now give to Guadalcanal and Iwo Jima.”

"I'll be here all week! Try the veal!"

REUTERS/Jason Reed

via Think Progress.

"Come on, George.

I think you can reach a little farther than that."

AP/Pablo Martinez Monsivais

Oh, I know. It was a form of protest,

right, Mann?

"Mark Foley, the former U.S. congressman in rehab for alcohol and sex-related problems, didn't send an absentee ballot request to the St. Lucie County elections office," Lambiet writes. "Conservative pundit Ann Coulter, accused of voting in the wrong precinct earlier this year, didn't cast her ballot, contributing further to the demise of the GOP in Congress."

"No 'I Voted' stickers for them," Jose Lambiet writes for the Palm Beach Post.

Maybe she couldn't remember where she'd registered last.

May I make a suggestion? If you don't vote, then you don't get to complain. So shut the fuck up, Ann.

more here.

The Penguin sneaks out

after a meeting at the White House.

[original photo: REUTERS/Jim Young]

To mark the shift in power to the Democrats,

Darth Cheney reinvents his evil persona by wearing a lampshade on his head.

REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

Unfortunately, all he succeeds in doing is shorting out the lamp with his pacemaker.

Mehlman's steppin' out down.

Two sources, speaking on condition of anonymity, said Mehlman has made clear to close associates for some time he was likely to leave after the 2006 elections -- and that there is no dissatisfaction with his performance in the midterm cycle.

Ken, sometimes a gavel is just a gavel.

Now you can pursue your dream of being a torch singer. Or something.

more here.

Update: Heh. I was just looking at this picture again, and thought: Ken suddenly recalls where he left his wallet.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Always the gentleman.

Doesn't he worry that she might rust?

REUTERS/Jason Reed

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about.

Hecate takes names and kicks ass.

Now that the mid-terms are out of the way, the real noise machine starts up for 2008 - "Shrillary", Nancy Pelosi, and the reason men are so uncomfortable with women in positions of power.

"You Republicans, you're all the same.

Always overdressing for the wrong occasions."*

AP/Ron Edmonds

*With apologies to Lawrence Kasdan, George Lucas and Philip Kaufman.

Buh-bye, Macaca.

Cable news network MSNBC is reporting that Senator George Allen (R-VA) is set to concede his race for re-election at 3 pm EST.

The move would give Democrats, who gained a sizeable majority in the House of Representatives, control of the other chamber of Congress.

Challenger Jim Webb was announced the winner by the Associated Press yesterday.

I understand George is considering a career doing stand-up in the Borscht Belt.

"Take my wife, please! She's a pain in my ass, always talking back..."



more here.