Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Keep an eye on your Chihuahuas.



Taronga Zoo keeper Matt Kettle trains a 2-year-old juvenile Andean condor named Lesley in a Sydney park. Lesley, whose wingspan should one day exceed 10 feet, is expected to take part in the zoo's Free Flight Bird Show.

That wingspan is pretty impressive right now.

Yeah, yeah, we're off to India.

But first, some synchronized clogging.


REUTERS/Larry Downing

"I'll have the Sammy Somosa!"

India (hearts) Bush. Not.

And given the fact that he's not going to stop at the Taj Mahal, what are the chances that he'll even try the chicken vindaloo?


AP/Gautam Singh

Ruprecht's first date.


AP/Evan Vucci

"That 66% who disapprove can yank my crank."

"I thought it was going to help," Bush said. "I thought it would help remind people that if bin Laden doesn't want Bush to be the president, something must be right with Bush."


AP/Pablo Martinez Monsivais


How conveeeeeenient. Osama bin Laden tape aided Bush reelection.

Y'know, every day, in every way, I'm convinced that bin Laden is hanging out at Dick Cheney's ranch, soaking in the hot tub, while Lynne peels him grapes.

Ms. Smith does Washington.

Now that Alito and Roberts are on the bench, that diamond-encrusted cross just might work.


REUTERS/Chris Kleponis

1.5 billion dollars is a LOT of Trimspa.

"Umm...can I get a lift back

to the White House?"


AP/Evan Vucci

34% 34% 34% 34% 34% 34% 34% ....

What's 6^2 - 2?

34!



Bush's popularity at new low.

And don't even get those poll numbers started on the popularity of Dick "Blam Blam" Cheney or their handling of the Iraq war.

Monday, February 27, 2006

I always find it so uplifting when

mentally challenged people find love...


REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

...or get jobs as game show hosts.

"I promise that I will no longer use

my defense funds for my wife's plastic surgery."


AP/Tim Johnson

*choke, sob*

"You two. My hot tub.

One hour."


REUTERS/Paul Morse/The White House

"Um, Mr. President, these are the Belarussian human rights representatives I was telling you about."

"Which one of you governors

just called me 'Preznit Poopyhead'?"


REUTERS/Larry Downing

Meanwhile, Mike Huckabee thinks, "Did I just say that out loud?"

Good thing they've got those

billowy black robes, cuz Anna Nicole's planning on attending.

"Hi, your honors!"



"Um, I'm just going to stay here, behind this dais."


AP/Darren Hauck

Ladies and Gents, the Leader of the "Free" World.

US leader crashed by trying to 'pedal, wave and speak at same time'.

The official police incident report states: "[The unit] was requested to cover the road junction on the Auchterarder to Braco Road as the President of the USA, George Bush, was cycling through." The report goes on: "[At] about 1800 hours the President approached the junction at speed on the bicycle. The road was damp at the time. As the President passed the junction at speed he raised his left arm from the handlebars to wave to the police officers present while shouting 'thanks, you guys, for coming'.

"As he did this he lost control of the cycle, falling to the ground, causing both himself and his bicycle to strike [the officer] on the lower legs. [The officer] fell to the ground, striking his head. The President continued along the ground for approximately five metres, causing himself a number of abrasions. The officers... then assisted both injured parties."




Thanks to Litz over at Eschaton for this.

"We hear you, New Orleans!"

Happy Mardi Gras.


AP/Carolyn Kaster

"Hey! What's with the rotten tomatoes?!

You're supposed to be throwing flowers and candy!"


AFP/Mandel Ngan

I'd prefer to hurl flaming bags of dog shit, personally.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

"Ohhhhhh, fudge.

But I didn't say 'fudge'..."



Sad: R.I.P. Darren McGavin.

You traumatized me with your star turn in "Kolchak: Night Stalker".

Home again, home again,

jiggety . . .oh, sonofabitch. He's still here?


REUTERS/Mannie Garcia

Saturday, February 25, 2006

"I spent the money on something worthwhile!"



Katherine Harris plays dumb.

Defense contractor Mitchell J. Wade pled guilty yesterday to election law fraud, among other charges for making illegal campaign contributions, including $32,000 in illegal contribution to Rep. Katherine Harris (R-FL).

Katherine Harris claims she had no idea there was anything amiss when she received the contributions. In a statement she said the incident “demonstrates the perils of a process in which candidates are sometimes asked to determine the intent of a contributor.”


(snip)

A fan of Condoleezza Rice waits

for the Secretary of State to touch down in Abu Dhabi.


AFP/Eric Feferberg

Headlines ripped from the news...

Microwaved penis turns out to be fake.

Well, that's a relief...I think. Have you checked with this guy to see if anything's missing?

"It was shaped like a baguette."


AFP/File/Paul J. Richards

How the hell did THAT happen?

Dependable Renegade is the featured blog at The Daou Report.

Go know!



(waves to anyone who's come over!)

"No, John. Not on the mouth.

Not until you OK the Dubai Ports deal."


AP/J. Scott Applewhite

"The worst part of going hunting with Cheney?

Getting the taste of the lies outta your mouth."

Friday, February 24, 2006

"Ah always wanted to play the cymbals!"



Shame he can't even keep a beat.

Someone looks like he just swallowed

one of Mr. Kananga's special compressed air bullets.





Lando Calrissian settles into his new job

as viceroy of New Alderaan.


AFP/File/Joseph Barrak

Even the flag he imagines

is just a backdrop.


REUTERS/Jim Young

I'm on the road again...

Heading upstate to visit the incomparably insouciant Thersites and his equally coquettish wife, NYMary. If I'm lucky, the invariably pantsless NTodd will be there, as well. A veritable ballyhoo of bloggers!

I leave you with this image to entertain you for the next couple of hours.



(from Cute Overload)

Next up: Team Libby asks FOX News

to be really fair and balanced.

Oh, I don't think so.

Now that's a halo shot I can live with:


AFP/Mandel Ngan

Whoa, didn't see THAT one coming.

BushCo. is backing down on Dubai deal,

announced with the usual style and grace that is this administration's hallmark.


AFP/Mandel Ngan

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Another instance of inter-species dating.



After Willy, a Red River porcine, lost his mate, Ruby, to cancer, he mourned for a week. Then he began romancing his Los Angeles Zoo exhibit roomie, Nicole, who frankly has much better legs than Ruby ever had. Now pig and bongo antelope are inseparable.

A watertiger roar of thanks

to reader Mike L. for sending me the brilliant black comedy series, "Arrested Development."



I'm eternally in yer debt.

Y'know, I just don't think

Dr. Atta J. Turk's work has been fully appreciated.

See here.

Just sayin'.


AFP/Mandel Ngan

"No, please, don't make me go with him.

I still have rope marks on my wrists and ankles from the last time!"


AP/Frank Franklin II

"And I can't wait to watch

'Glory Hole' with these gentlemen."


REUTERS/Larry Downing

(stage whisper) "'Glory ROAD,' Mrs. Bush."

"I was dead at the time."*

As opposed to the White House's navel gazing:

Regarding Bush, the [House of Representatives'] report [on the Katrina response] also found that “earlier presidential involvement could have speeded the response” because he alone could have cut through all bureaucratic resistance.






*with apologies to Eddie Izzard.

"Who among us doesn't want to see

a chocolate cola Congress?"


REUTERS/Jason Reed

"La la la, I can't hear you!"



What civil war?

BAGHDAD (AFP) - The US military rejected the idea that a civil war is brewing in Iraq, saying it had confirmed only seven major attacks on mosques across the country.

Yeah, I bet those 47 dead Iraqis left in a ditch in Baghdad appreciate the distinction.

Oh, dear. A double strand pearl necklace.

Who had the temerity to ring Sasquatch?


AFP/Rabih Moghrabi

As Thersites points out, the new term is "cheneyed."

We can rest easier.

John "Deathsquad Dude" Negroponte okayed the UAE ports deal back in November.

A deal that allows an Arab-owned company in Dubai to manage six major U.S. ports was scrutinized for security risks by an obscure intelligence agency that has existed for only four months, American officials said on Wednesday.

The Intelligence Community Acquisition Risk Centre, or CARC, overseen by the office of intelligence chief John Negroponte, was asked by the government committee that vets foreign investments in the United States to look into the ports deal soon after it came to its attention in early November.


(snip)



AFP/Paul J. Richards

So he has a little trouble with double negatives.

Bush at cabinet meeting: "And so people don't need to worry about security. This deal wouldn't go forward if we were concerned about the security for the United States of America."


REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque



(from Josh Marshall's joint.)