Friday, June 30, 2006

"I've got my eye on you."

woof

It could've been worse.

They could've taken him to Dollywood.


TIM SLOAN/AFP/Getty Images

Like frogs over a slow boil.

Senators on Capitol Hill are already moving to undercut yesterday's Supreme Court ruling that military tribunals being held at Guantanamo Bay are illegal . . . .
. . .

In a joint statement, Republican Senators Lindsey Graham of South Carolina and Jon Kyl of Arizona, noting Breyer’s opinion, declared their intention to “pursue legislation in the Senate granting the Executive Branch the authority to ensure that terrorists can be tried by competent military commissions.”


Just want to make sure I'm on the right page here. Graham and Kyl want to pursue legislation gutting a SCOTUS decision that states that George W. Bush is not omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient. A decision that tries to reestablish the separation of powers set forth in the Constitution. A decision that reinforces the notion that international treaties trump power grabs by the Executive branch.

So you think you can curry favor by playing "courtier" to this scabrous bunch of anti-constititutionalists? WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! You are now full-fledged idolators in the Bush cargo cult, bowing before graven images of people who would just as soon see the Legislative branch eliminated, along with the Judiciary. But you're just too fucking mentally myopic to think that far ahead. Either that or Karl Rove has some really incriminating photographs of you and barnyard animals or male prostitutes. Or both.

How soon before you introduce legislation pulling out of the Geneva Conventions? Reinstating Jim Crow laws? Bonfires of books? You stupid, stupid, stupid locksteppers.

Y'know, Messirs Graham and Kyl, I'd like to remind you of the words of a guy you probably never heard of -- Pastor Martin Niemöller:

First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.

full story here.

UPDATE: I see The Rude Pundit and I are grappling with the same ideas. His is a more . . . graphic . . . take on the matter.

I don't know.

I think with these qualifications, he should at least head up FEMA.



Bernard B. Kerik, the former New York City police commissioner, pleaded guilty today to two misdemeanor charges as the result of accepting tens of thousands of dollars of gifts and a loan while a city official in the late 1990's.

And my favorite line:

[Kerik] said he should have been more "focused and sophisticated" in dealing with contractors who worked on his Bronx apartment.

full story here.

Oh yeah. That's punishment

fitting the crime:

A New Orleans judge sentenced three people who looted liquor from a grocery store after Hurrican Katrina to 15 years in prison, saying he wanted to send a message.

and yet:

Two men each have been sentenced to a year in prison, a $5,000 fine and two years of supervised release in a Hurricane Katrina fraud case, U.S. Attorney Dunn Lampton said.

I'm not even going to speculate on the skin color of the people involved. That would be irresponsible, no?

more here.

Tony "Viva Las Vegas" Snow

brings dignity to the White House . . .

assclown
PAUL J. RICHARDS/AFP/Getty Images

. . . and then passes out on the Air Force One toilet.

Stuck in 'meet and greet' mode.

What you can't see is the smoke coming out of her ass.

wallpaper
Alex Wong/Getty Images

"Gee, yer hair smells terrific."

you and me in the leopard room
AP/Charles Dharapak

Guess he's filling Koizumi in on the Leopard Room at Graceland.

"And then Ah'll kiss the wine

off yer lips."

roofie
AP/Gerald Herbert

"I just pooped."

"I loathe you."

doofus
AP/Gerald Herbert

"Apples! Gravy! Very small rocks!"

"By the way, the Japanese defense forces did a really good job when they were in Iraq. And they're able to leave because they did such a good job. And now the Iraqis will be running the province in which the Japanese forces used to be. Nevertheless, the Prime Minister, as he mentioned in the comments, will continue to provide airlift capacity and naval help."
-- G.W. Bush yesterday.

So . . . if the Japanese did such a good job . . . and they get to leave . . . . and if we're making good progress . . . .

newt

[h/t reader Leslie for this quote]

Thursday, June 29, 2006

"Ah am not a crook!

Ah'm a criminal."


AP/J. Scott Applewhite

Say it with me:

"Next stop, The Hague."

pissed
AP/Charles Dharapak

"to the extent that there is latitude to work with the Congress to determine whether or not the military tribunals will be an avenue in which to give people their day in court, we will do so." - G.W. Bush

What part about " military war crimes trials are illegal under U.S. law and international Geneva conventions" don't you understand, you COCK?!

Whoopsie.

Condi bares her teef:

MOSCOW - Intentionally or not, the Russians fed out audio of Thursday’s closed lunch meeting between Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov, revealing a fractious exchange over the wording of an official Group of Eight statement on Iraq.

"I did NOT call you a dickhead!"

pearl necklace
REUTERS/Alexander Nemenov

"Laura, Juni here's gonna

keep me company while Condi's away."

intros
REUTERS/Larry Downing

I bet Laura's quite familiar with the "tie on the doorknob".

Heavens to mergatroids!

The Supreme Court does it twice in a row?

From CNN:

The Supreme Court rules President Bush overstepped his authority with military war crimes trials for foreigners held at Guantanamo Bay in a case involving a former driver for Osama bin Laden.

I wonder if DeLay's interested

in a guest blogger position over at Rising Hegemon - After Dark!

“Who wants a beaver?” DeLay asked the crowd, hawking a sheared-beaver vest that a lobbyist later won for $1,400.

"Hoots," reports Roll Call's Mary Ann Akers, "and hollers followed." Probably because the crowd of hunters, hunter-lovers, and those who make their living kissing up to hunter-loving lawmakers understood that "beaver" is a slang term for vagina -- although, who knows, maybe they were super-excited about the flat-tailed, dam-building rodents.

“Everybody likes beaver, even women,” DeLay declared happily, with a passion he once reserved for attacking "liberals." “The best thing about it, it’s a shaved beaver!" he exclaimed -- blissfully ignorant, it would seem, of the disturbing psychosexual inference that prepubescence is somehow erotic in a female partner.


"Hey, you like beaver?"


REUTERS/Evan Sisley

"How 'bout you? You like beaver?"


REUTERS/Evan Sisley

"Me? Oh, I love beaver!"


REUTERS/Jason Reed


full story here.

[h/t Eschaton reader jac.]

It's time to get Peggy Noonan

fitted for that wraparound jacket.

Go praise Dr. Atta J. Turk - he goes there, so you don't have to.

I'm still barfing from the Nooner's florid prose.

"C'mon, git to the part where

you say how great Ah am."

cheater
JIM WATSON/AFP/Getty Images

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

"Ah can't believe Ah lost a

footrace to a guy with no legs."

All Hail the Chimp
REUTERS/Larry Downing

"That's the last time

I let Karen pitch."

Whoa.
REUTERS

"I'd rather be at home making

love to my wife while my children are asleep."

-- Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE), speaking to supporters of his leadership PAC about his presidential aspirations

Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up sniffing glue.

airplanetwo133



from City Pages, via Olexion, Sir Humpty!

"Whaddya mean, 'cook it'?"

He can probably just swallow it whole.

hastertfish1

Denny in his favorite color: Drawn Butter Yellow.


[h/t to reader Sorghum Crow]

A moment of Zen.

It's nice to wake up, draw back the curtains, and happily discover that sometimes, nurturing pays off:

Hibiscus II

Hibiscus

Holyfuckingshit. Sigh.

CNN breaking headline:

U.S. Supreme Court overturns part of a Texas congressional map engineered by former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay.

Pinch me. I think I'm dreaming.

More when analysis becomes available.

Update: From AP -

The fractured decision was a small victory for Democratic and minority groups who accused Republicans of an unconstitutional power grab in drawing boundaries that booted four Democratic incumbents out of office.

Justice Anthony M. Kennedy, writing for the majority, said Hispanics do not have a chance to elect a candidate of their choosing under the plan.

Republicans picked up six Texas congressional seats two years ago, and the court's ruling does not seriously threaten those gains. Lawmakers, however, will have to adjust boundary lines to address the court's concerns.

Oh, good.

George Bush can keep on defacing American flags with his trusted Sharpie.

WASHINGTON (AP) - A constitutional amendment to ban flag desecration died in a Senate cliffhanger Tuesday, a single vote short of the support needed to send it to the states for ratification a week before Independence Day.

. . .

"Countless men and women have died defending that flag," said Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-Tenn., closing two days of debate. "It is but a small humble act for us to defend it."


I think I'm going to cry. Can you hand me a tissue?



rest here.

You try collecting from them.

From the "My God, What a Futile Gesture" department:

Sen. Charles Grassley, chairman of the tax-writing Senate Finance Committee, wants the Internal Revenue Service to chase after pimps and sex traffickers with the same fervor it stalked gangster Al Capone for tax evasion.

Grassley, R-Iowa, would hit pimps with fines and lengthy prison sentences for failing to file employment forms and withhold taxes for the women and girls under their command.


"The coat's a tax write-off, bro."

Huggy


more here.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

To add insult to injury,

little Miss Beazley mistook the prosthetic for a hydrant.

BUSH
REUTERS/Larry Downing

"Ah gave him a handicap.

Git it? A h-a-n-d-i-c-a-p!"

doughboy
AP/Gerald Herbert

"Ag, where's me spinach?!"

winky
AP/Charles Dharapak

I will pay you Tuesday for a "yay" vote on the line item veto today.

Katherine Harris declares,

"I shall call her 'Mini-Me'!"

Jeanne Pirro
REUTERS/Mike Foley

Jeanne Pirro, ladies and gentlemen. New York's answer to Her Chestiness from Florida.

"Not too close, dear.

You might see the seams."

not too close
AP/American Library Ass'n

Today, on "As the White House Turns":

"Oh please, mistress..."

wishing
AFP/Jim Watson

"You want this?"

fisting
AFP/Paul J. Richards

Look, don't blame me, people. These are the folks who brought you "Operation Mountain Thrust" fer crissakes.

We're talking some SERIOUS sexual repression.

[h/t to attaturk for that Sasquatch shot]

cross-posted at Rising Hegemon - After Dark!.

So he really IS Rush "Limpdick".

Some things are just too horrid to contemplate:

Rush Limbaugh was detained for more than three hours Monday at Palm Beach International Airport after authorities said they found a bottle of Viagra in his possession without a prescription.

Customs officials found a prescription bottle labeled as Viagra in his luggage that didn't have Limbaugh's name on it, but that of two doctors, said Paul Miller, spokesman for the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office.


Now let's see how this doesn't violate the prosecution agreement.

Compensate much?

compensate

more here.

UPDATE: As reader amyc over at TBogg's place points out - "The Dominican Republic apparently has a booming sex trade (or rape trade, if you're like me and don't believe 13-yr-old girls really consent to be whores for rich tourists). As nightmare-inducing as the answers might be, I think The American People need to ask why an unmarried Christian man would take a suitcase full of dick drugs on a Third-World sex tour. (Although perhaps we shouldn't rule out missionary work.)"

GAH! THE HYPOCRISY! IT BURRRRRRRRNS!

For those who haven't been keeping score

on the whole "Markos is the Antichrist" brouhaha, go read Billmon.

My god, he's so very, very good.

(via Atrios)

Monday, June 26, 2006

"Why do I get the feeling

I'm back in the cockpit of 'Airplane'?"

Daaaamn.
AP/Pablo Martinez Monsivais

BTW, this is most interesting: the man Bush is hugging (and kissing in the post below) is, according the caption accompanying the photo: "jazz trumpeter Irvin Mayfield . . .from News Orleans, La. . . . Mayfield lost his father in the chaos following Hurricane Katrina last year."

So the fucker who is ultimately responsible for Mayfield's father's death is hugging and kissing the poor man like they're best buds.

"Well, he's no JimmyJeff."

No, seriously. What the fuck is wrong with you, man?!

No JimmyJeff
TIM SLOAN/AFP/Getty Images

"Which is why we believe that . . .

Mister President!"

"Ungh . . . hold on . . . almost there . . ."

jerkoff
JIM WATSON/AFP/Getty Images

Hmm. Maybe I should cross-post this at RH-AD.

Oh, fabulous.

Bush has a new guitar. Which U.S. city will be destroyed next?

gee-tar man
REUTERS/Larry Downing

Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery.

I'd just like a little acknowledgement is all.

From my post over at Firedoglake yesterday:

Roger Ailes (no, not THAT one) summarizes all of this TNR stupidity in one sentence. But what a sentence. Ah, brevity.

From DKos' open thread today:

Roger Ailes boils down the last week to one sentence. And it's a good one.

From my post:

The Rude Pundit is in high dudgeon over this latest blogfuffle and confides that "Markos Moulitsas looks smaller on TV than in person. He is actually seven feet tall, with hands that could crush a bowling ball. He sharpens his teeth by chewing beer bottles, and the rumor is that he shot Billmon just for snoring. He scares us all because he enters our villages and eats our livestock at night. Please help us, TNR, please end the tyranny."

From DKos:

Rude Pundit:

Markos Moulitsas looks smaller on TV than in person. He is actually seven feet tall, with hands that could crush a bowling ball. He sharpens his teeth by chewing beer bottles, and the rumor is that he shot Billmon just for snoring. He scares us all because he enters our villages and eats our livestock at night. Please help us, TNR, please end the tyranny.

From my post:

The intrepid and delightfully anarchic Thers reveals damning correspondence from Kosferatu to his minions, one of whom is revealed to be none other than one Christine Harding Smythe.

From DKos:

Whiskey Ashes publishes more secret emails. Truly chilling.

Look, I'm flattered beyond belief that someone like Markos appreciates my snark, but jeez, guy, I did all the legwork. It doesn't take much to simply put this in: "from watertiger at Firedoglake." That's all I'm sayin'. I think Markos is doing great work for the Left, but just because he rules Blogtopia doesn't mean that he can rip off at will. And he's ripping off Jane and Christy, as well, since the post appeared on their blog.

Fly right, dude.

Ssshh...no one say anything.

BOSTON - Boston Scientific Corp. on Monday said it is recalling some defibrillator and pacemaker models that could fail because of an electrical flaw.

awww.
AP/Lawrence Jackson


from here.

Score one for the good guys.

The Federal Bureau of Investigations has conceded another legal victory to a group of Connecticut libraries, thereby ending the case entirely . . .

The Librarians, members of Library Connection, a not-for profit cooperative organization for resource sharing across 26 Connecticut library branches sharing a centralized computer, were served with a National Security Letter (NSL) in August of last year as part of the FBI's attempt to obtain access to patron's records.


"Stoopit librarians. They'll pay for trying to shush me."

toad
AFP/Nicholas Kamm

more here.

What an interesting choice of words.

From USA Today's smarm piece on John Roberts and his children of the corn:

The Marshall and Rehnquist children were adults in 1986 when Antonin Scalia, with nine offspring ranging in age from 5 to 24, was sworn in. The Scalia children largely disappeared from public view after his confirmation.

If, by "disappeared," you mean "installed in important positions within the Republican party and the Bush II junta". . . .

"Ah wonder if Ah can

git Magnum to find JimmyJeff fer me."

Magnum
REUTERS/Joshua Roberts

Or maybe he can locate Bianca.

When you corner a wounded animal,

this kind of shit is what usually results:

A new Website devoted to the "lies" of Pennsylvania Democratic Congressman Jack Murtha went live a few days early in order to post "hateful" emails sent by readers of liberal blogs that were tipped off early and had already begun digging into the site's background. . . .

. . .

"At the moment we don't know enough about Murtha's service record to say much of anything about it," Bailey [the website's founder], told RAW STORY.


Read: we haven't been able to make shit up and have our minions repeat the meme ad nauseum until the lemming press picks it up and runs with it.

full nausea here.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Leering in stereo.

They both leer
BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI/AFP/Getty Images

Actually, this is an interesting shot: the impersonator's leering at Laura, and Bush is leering at the impersonator. Speaks volumes.

Did someone fall off his bike again?

Rudolph
AP/Lawrence Jackson

Neither rabid nor lambs.

Just cute.


AP/Martin Mejia

Oh dear.

Via The Poor Man Institute, we find this:

Hitler cats.


We had a cat that we almost named Adolf because of his markings. Just go look.

Peter King, R-NY, one of the

dimmer lights in the Republican firmament...

"[N]o one elected the New York Times to do anything. And the New York Times is putting its own arrogant elitest left wing agenda before the interests of the American people, and I’m calling on the Attorney General to begin a criminal investigation and prosecution of the New York Times — its reporters, the editors who worked on this, and the publisher. We’re in a time of war, Chris, and what they’ve done has violated the Espionage Act, the COMINT act."

republican firmament


more stupidity here.

"Um...how does this danged

contraption work again?"

brolly
REUTERS/Joshua Roberts

Sunday snark round-up

now available at Firedoglake.

Come, join the fun!

Aw, this shoots Ricky's theory

all to hell.

CIA officer Tyler Drumheller said he personally crossed out a reference to the labs from a classified draft of a U.N. speech by Secretary of State Colin Powell because he recognized the source as a defector, code-named Curveball, who was suspected to be mentally unstable and a liar.

Now how's he gonna get a handjob from Bush?

bushnass

more here.

Life carries on.

Sunflowers
AP/The Shreveport Times/Jim Hudelson

Rabid Lamb Redux

angrylamb angrylamb angrylamb angrylamb angrylamb angrylamb

[h/t NYMary.]