Thursday, August 31, 2006

"Nope. Not gonna do it."

"110th and Amsterdam, macaca.

And step on it!"

[Montana Senator Conrad] Burns talked about the war on terrorism, saying a "faceless enemy" of terrorists "drive taxi cabs in the daytime and kill at night."

But not before they stop at Dunkin Donuts and say hi to the macacas who run the place. Jesus Christ, what the fuck is with this xenophobic stereotyping?

more here.

Meanwhile, campaigning for Burns, Laura sees dead people:

"Hi, Mike! Sorry about running you over..."

ghosts
AP/Lucas Flory

"Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull

a strawman out of my hat!"

A crowd of thousands cheered Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson for calling President Bush a "dishonest, war-mongering, human-rights violating president" whose time in office would "rank as the worst presidency our nation has ever had to endure."

"Am not."

adapting to win
REUTERS/Jim Young


full story here.

A whole battalion of Transformers™?

Someone get Optimus Prime on the phone.

Transformers

How do you wear that shit without laughing?

"Iraq, the surplus, health care, oil prices,

global warming . . . they were all broke when I got here!"

Maaaammy!
REUTERS/Jim Young

Hmm. They've gotten better at hiding the marionette strings.

Some words of wisdom

that seem more than appropriate in this day and age:

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

7. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.

8. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

9. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

10. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

11. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

12. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

13. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

14. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

15. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

16. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

17. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

18. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

19. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

20. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

21. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

22. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

23. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

24. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

25. You should not confuse your career with your life.

26. Never lick a steak knife.

27. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

28. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

29. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

30. Your friends love you anyway.

31. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

(courtesy my friend G.)

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Now THAT'S what I call

a "smackdown" - Keith Olbermann just delivered a knock-out combination to the Bush Administration.

You can read the transcript here.

Will put up the video ASAP. It really should be seen to be fully appreciated.

UPDATE: John is quick on the draw - the video.

Strangely enough, Bush didn't see

the child's lightning-fast right hook before it was too late.

right hook
REUTERS/Jim Young

I'm sure she'll get used to life in Gitmo, although she may need her "two fruit" pureed.

"La la la, I can't hear you, mister.

All your talk is shit, anyway."

resorting to babies
REUTERS/Jim Young

He seems to be hiding behind more babies these days.

"Huh? Why those people

wavin' pitchforks and torches?"

run away!
AP/Judy Bottoni

Consider it "service of process," you douchebag.

Dead cat bounce.

WASHINGTON, Aug. 29 (UPI) -- A new Harris Poll finds no evidence of a bounce for U.S. President Bush from the arrests in Britain of a group suspected of plotting to blow up passenger jets.

"Ah don't get it. It worked all those other times."

friggin' Camus
AFP/Tim Sloan


[h/t Dr. Turk for the poll numbers]

Yup. Another one.

A watertiger roaring thank you to reader Buckeye, Rare Dealer, for the amazing, the hysterical:



UPDATE: Ack! My computer seized up and then I had to bolt for a dentist appointment, so I'd like to add this:

I have the most generous readers in da whole world.

And an additional thanks to Buckeye for the kitchen implement which shall go unnamed, lest I get laughed at again.

Also, multi grazie to reader e-five, for the great music sampler! I'm looking forward to listening to 'em.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

"SPIKE IT!"

"Dance, monkey, DANCE!"

Josh Bolten would settle for "jazz hands."


AP/Evan Vucci

"GodDAMN, what was in

those Hurricanes Ah had last night?"

Hung over
REUTERS/Jim Young

"Ah could swear Ah just saw Jesus givin' me the finger."

Ah-hahahahahaha!

Oh, man. Attaturk nails it.

Just go.

Suzy Homemaker's really branching out.

The largest unmanned aircraft to rely solely on hydrogen fuel has flown successfully during tests.

The plane, with a 22-foot-wingspan, is powered by a fuel-cell system that generates 500-watts—equal to five bright light bulbs.


But can you bake a cake in it?

suzy


full story here.

"Looks like the cracker

got into the Wild Turkey again, girls."

chimpy mcstagger
AFP/Tim Sloan

"Goddaaamn, he's dead weight."

"Yeah, yeah, that's nice.

Now get out of my way, old man. Some of us have to work for a living."

in the way
AP/Evan Vucci

"Grits gimme me gas.

Betcha can't top this!"

You gonna finish that?
REUTERS/Jim Young

Looks like the jambalaya's

gunked up the gyroscope.

listing to starboard
REUTERS/Jim Young

Ooo-whee, that's some good bourbon.

"Git yer own photo op!

I got mine."

git yer own!
REUTERS/Jim Young

"Can I have a ride?

Can I? Can I? Hurry up and finish!"

can I have a ride?
REUTERS/Jim Young

Monday, August 28, 2006

Bush also sees pink elephants.

Bush sees renewal after Katrina

"Amazing what the world looked like then and what it looks like now," Bush said, marveling at the air conditioning and electrical service in the newly constructed home visible behind him. "You can see that reconstruction effort beginning here in this part of the world."
. . . .

Bush acknowledged "there's still challenges."


"I talk good!"


AP/Evan Vucci


More here.

"Come get the new porch

in my pocket, Mrs. Lott."

feelie
AP/Rogelio Solis

Onlookers giggled nervously as

Bush practiced his fourth down punt on Laura.

AUUUGH!
REUTERS/Yuri Gripas

I'm sure they're ecstatic.

As Ernesto cut a path through the Caribbean, Bush prepared for a visit Monday and Tuesday to the region that is little recovered from Hurricane Katrina's devastating strike last August.

"Ah'm hopin' that they gimme another gee-tar."

Ruprecht
REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque


more here.

Once more, with feeling!

A watertiger roaring thank you to the uber-generous Funkmeister of Snark, TBogg, and his famiglia - they made coming home a little more bearable.

I found a box on my doorstep that contained not just this:



but the wonderfully intriguing The Origins of Brunists, by Robert Coover.

(I think Beckham picked out the video. He strikes me as a Neil Patrick Harris fan.)

*MWAH*

Sunday, August 27, 2006

So did I miss anything good

while I was away?


REUTERS/Jim Young

Maybe if they spent less time

being creative and more time finishing the rebuild...

different sign, different day

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Vermont signage

Subtle. I like it.

Heh

Wry.

pigs fly

"Hey, you tree huggers!

Eat my wake!"


AP/Pat Wellenbach

George Bush is the guy everybody at the marina hates.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Blogger's whack, man.

I'm trying to nuke the double post, but it hasn't wanted to leave. Just so ya know that I'm not ignoring it.

Nothing like an unintended swim.

I took out one of the kayaks, and while adjusting the seat, I experienced an unintended "Eskimo roll" (I wish it were sushi). Anyway, NTodd had a good laugh, and I wrung myself out, had a change of clothes and got back into the kayak to check out some of the flora and fauna around the perimeter of the pond. Some snaps from the water.

A hitchhiker.

hitchhiker

The camp from halfway across the pond.

the camp

Reflections upon drifting.

shadows

The loon family. (Didn't want to get too close and freak 'em out)

Loon Family

I must say, not listening to the news every once in a while is a great restorative. I highly recommend it.

The Day in Pictures

Enjoying the morning sun.

morning sun

A walk in the woods.

small orange flower

There's a fungus among us.

fungus among us

Sally of St. Johnsbury (by artist Stephen Huneck)

Sally

Sunset over the pond.

sunset

Wow, long day.

babushka

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Jenna's before the mast.*

Man, they'll make anything a bowsprit these days.


REUTERS/Jenny Rinaldi

* "Before the mast" is a nautical term for getting a time out.

Segways are useful when navigating

the jungles of Central America.


REUTERS/Jim Young

At least Jenna's staying on the damned thing.

"Ah'm tellin' ya. Ya should've called him

a 'wog,' instead."

The perfect storm of stupidity.


AFP/Paul J. Richards

An obscure word played for laughs from a mostly white crowd at the expense of a man of Indian descent clouds what has been a bright political career for Sen. George Allen, including any White House plans.

The Republican, seeking a second term as he explores a 2008 presidential run, apologized directly Wednesday to the Democratic aide he targeted, then joined President Bush for a private fundraiser in the Virginia suburbs of Washington.


full story here.

Score one for Common Sense.

Women may buy the morning-after pill without a prescription - but only with proof they're 18 or older, federal health officials ruled Thursday, capping a contentious 3-year effort to ease access to the emergency contraceptive.

Because I don't know any woman who find this prospect appealing:

The Duggars

[Image courtesy Pandagon.]

Full story here.

Yesterday afternoon, take two.

Kayla's most distinctive feature:

dog butt

the boat launch:

other side of the lake

twilight through the trees:

greenery

Cloudage:

twilight

The loons' eeries calls in the middle of the night startled me at first (yeah, I'm a city person, more acclimated to car alarms and booming radios), but they're faaaaa-bulous.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Ach, this dial-up is slow.

So here's the one pic I've been able to upload from this afternoon's hike.

A robin, singing the last songs of summer:

Robin

"Laura says Ah kin keep him,

long as Ah promise to clean up after the next hurricane."


REUTERS/Jim Young

[caption reads: President George W. Bush puts his arm around Hurricane Katrina survivor Rockey Vaccarella at the White House ]

h/t to NTodd.

UPDATE: What a surprise. Turns out this guy's a fake.